Another week, the 1714th of my life, in the books, another 10 people, places or things that I humbly suggest deserve a figurative kick in the shins with some hefty Timberland boots...
#10. The Ricky Gervais Haters. I'll preface this by saying I don't think I've watched more than 30 continuous minutes of an award show since the 2 Live Crew performed Banned in the USA at the 1990 Video Music Awards. And I didn't catch this year's Golden Globes either. I did however, see a neatly prepared 3 minute news package on Gervais' alleged insulting miscues and I laughed my ass off. He called out a bunch of people who've made hundreds of millions of dollars taking themselves way too seriously. Enough with the victim treatment.
#9. Facebook Re-Posters. You know who I'm talking about. (Relative, Occupation, or Disease) is so super (great/bad) that everybody should (honor/fight) them. 90% of you won't have the (guts/balls) to repost this if you agree. Enough. We get it. We all love our moms, sisters and troops and we all hate cancer and terrorists. We just don't like being told to do so or having our integrity on such issues/people challenged. Repost if you agree with me.
#8. Antrelle Rolle. He'd rather get his toes sucked by Rex Ryan than get yelled at for missing tackle after tackle by Tom Coughlin. That's his prerogative. The funny thing is, he took more money than anyone at his position has ever taken to play for Coughlin, and it's not as if Coughlin's coaching style became some revelation this past July. Shut up and play. And if you played up to your contract, I'd have ranked you higher.
#7. The House Of Representatives. A week after agreeing that discourse must become more civil in America, they propose, vote on and pass the "Repeal of the Job Killing Health Care Law". Even though a majority opposes. Even though it kills no jobs. What kind of outrage would we have if, upon taking power in 2007, Pelosi's House voted on "Repeal of the Troop and Civilian Killing War Powers Act". At least that would be factually accurate, no?
#6. Brian Cashman. Yankees GM offered a 1 year contract to Carl Pavano. For anyone wondering what's wrong with that, it would be the sports equivalent of Tina Turner proposing to remarry Ike. But I guess you can't blame him for chasing the dream of rebuilding my 2002 Fantasy Baseball team with Pavano, Andruw Jones and Mark Prior (to say nothing of Jorge Posada).
#5. Peter King. Not the SI writer, who's miraculously avoided a Listing for 3 straight weeks. Republican from New York takes control of the House Committee on Homeland Security and decides it's a suddenly a
great idea to investigate Muslims. A proud heir to the lineage of Joe McCarthy and Joseph Goebbels.
#4. TLC. The Learning Channel announced that it will be devoting a week of programing to the British Royal Family in anticipation of whatever wedding they're having this spring. Just what we need on TV: more crap. Call me old fashioned, but I'm of the mindset that these dipshits became irrelevant the minute the Magna Carta was signed.
#3. American Idol. It's baaaaaaack. More glorified karaoke that will find a way to invade just about every casual conversation you're going to have over the next couple of months, coupled with the crowning of "The Next Great Artist" who's name you'll forget by the 4th of July and may run into playing the county fair in 5 years.
#1. Alabama Governor Robert Bentley. I went into detail about this
Good Ol' Boy yesterday so I'm not going to get myself worked up again. But know this - his words and actions are by design, and don't buy any of these faux apologies coming out of his office. His ilk simply doesn't consider anyone who doesn't share their distorted "values" as their equal or countrymen.
That's a wrap on this week. May you thoroughly enjoy the conclave of rapists and toesuckers on the Monongahela River this weekend.
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