Now that arguably the most beleaguered franchise in sports has won the Super Bowl, it's time to run down the next 20 most potentially heartwarming, touching, feelgoody, Oprahish, hallmark championships possible in professional North American Sports:
20. Pittsburgh Penguins - Remember the days of Jagr and Lemieux? Longer ago than I'd like to admit. The NHL's better of when Pittsburgh is relevant.
19. Jacksonville Jaguars - Because deep down inside, you're dying to see a Super Bowl Parade with 50 people in attendance.
18. Chicago Bears - Jay Cutler doing the inevitable Super Bowl Shuffle reprise would break the Unintentional Comedy Scale.
17. Cleveland Cavaliers - Probably the only acceptable parting gift as the LeBron Era comes to a close.
16. Minnesota Twins - Joe Mauer is so wholesome and such a proud Minnesota native that he's likely going to take a lesser salary, something like $200 million over 10 years, to stay in Minneapolis. If that doesn't pull at your heartstrings, you're not human.
15. New York Giants - Second fiddle in the family no more. For younger brothers everywhere.
14. San Diego Chargers - Complete the Class of 04 Trifecta and give LaDainian Tomlinson the Tiki Barber treatment.
13. Milwaukee Brewers - For beer lovers everywhere.
12. Philadelphia 76ers - I'd honestly like to be able to know who their coach is without having to wiki it every time it comes up in conversation.
11. Chicago Blackhawks - Wow, Michael Jordan really saved the Windy City from being a more populated version of Cleveland, didn't he?
10. Cleveland Indians - Speaking of which.
9. Buffalo Bills - The time has come for a Canadian Super Bowl winner. Since they can't win Stanley Cups anymore.
8. Pittsburgh Pirates- Imagine the storylines. A team that pays their players $5.50 an hour competing against the big bad teams from bigger markets. Ever notice how everyone, when talking about baseball payrolls, always rushes to defend "Poor Pittsburgh?" The Marlins winning 2 World Series didn't shut them up, but maybe the Pirates can.
6/7 (tie) New York Knicks/New York Rangers. As Madison Square Garden goes, so goes the NBA/NHL. Personally, I hate the Knicks. But if you were to chart the popularity of both leagues over the last 20 years, you'd see a major spike in 1994.
5. Cleveland Browns - The city has Drew Carry and it's losing LeBron James. They saw the Ravens win a Super Bowl 4 years after bolting. They can't even keep the Rock'n Roll Hall of Fame Concert in Cleveland.
4. Toronto Maple Leafs - For all of us who can't live without spell-check.
3. Chicago Cubs - Simply because I'm so sick of the "cursed loveable loser" tag. Let them lose their identity the way the Red Sox did.
2. Detroit Lions - We all know what Bush did to New Orleans, but the denigration of Detroit has been a bi-partisan, multi-lateral, , multi-generational effort.
1. New York Yankees - Hey, Curtis Granderson needs a ring too you know?
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