Five For Friday 2/12/10

And the Wheel of Topics stops on………..Politics. Happy Valentine’s Day



FIVE PEOPLE I’M GLAD WE DON’T HAVE TO HEAR FROM ANYMORE
5. Tony Snow. It’s a shame when someone doesn’t see their 60th birthday and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But when you spent what turned out to be your last decade on earth as a Fox News host AND White House Press Secretary for the Bush Administration, consider it Karmic Justice.
4. Strom Thurmond. Segregationist. With illegitimate black children. Yet consistently sent back to the Senate for half a decade. We totally mismanaged Reconstruction.
3. Jerry Falwell. Evangelical that blamed 9/11 on gays. And people continued to send him money. And people still pay to send their children his Madrasah known as “Liberty University”. Baffling.
2. Timothy McVeigh. Follow this train of thought: Tea Baggers think the President’s soft on terrorism. Timmy McV was the original Tea Bagger. I wonder if this dichotomy was discussed at the $500 per ticket convention for average folks.
1. Ronald Reagan. Every major problem of 2010: Terrorism emanating from Afghanistan, the lack of workers’ protections, the greatest disparity of wealth in history, and the lack of financial safeguards and regulations can be traced back to this shitbag. Yet anti-gay conservatives are so unbelievably gay for him. His chickens all came home to roost over the last 10 years and lucky for us, we get to see Reaganism in all it’s glory manifested in this shitstorm we call Life On Earth 2010.

FOUR PEOPLE WE UNFORTUNATELY DO HEAR FROM
4. Sean Hannity. I don’t care about demagogues like Glen Beck and Rush Limbaugh. They only reach a small, bitter, aging, angry, lilywhite portion of the population. What’s dangerous about Hannity is that people think he’s a middle of the road analyst who tells it like it is, when the reality is he’s squarely in the Beck/Limbaugh/Savage/Goebbels camp.
3. Sarah Palin. I have a love/hate relationship with Misses Reproduce Like Rabbits and Pass That Core Family Value On To My Daughter. On one hand, I despise every sentence uttered from that vast open space between her ears. On the other, despite the fact that Bushie got “elected” twice, I can’t possibly see America voting for someone that fucking dumb so having her in a prominent position within the GOP is probably good for America.
2. Tim Tebow. I’m pretty much convinced he’s a Jihadist. I think Homeland Security needs to be on alert the first time he travels to play in San Francisco, New York or Seattle this upcoming season.
1. Joe Lieberman. Self-serving prick. Nothing left to say.


THREE SIMPLE QUESTIONS I’VE ASKED MANY TIMES THAT STILL HAVE NOT BEEN ANSWERED INTELLIGENTLY
3. How Does Same-Sex Marriage Threaten The Institution of Marriage Itself? Seriously? Is everyone going to divorce their spouse and go marry someone of the same gender? Honestly, can somebody PLEASE answer this w/o referring to God or Scripture?
2. What “Freedoms” Do “They” Hate Us For? Dubya uttered this bullshit about 4 hours after the attacks and people just took him at his word (No need to examine the track record of “His Word” is there?). But nobody’s quite translated this into something that people who can read at the 4th Grade Level or better can understand. Do they not like that we can choose between Coke and Pepsi? Does our freedom to petition our government in a chain-link-fenced in “Free Speech Zone” piss them off so much that they had to commit an act of war?
1. How, Over The Span of One Lifetime, Do You Go From Nazi Labor Camp Guard To Pope? From guardian of the Third Reich to Successor of Saint Peter. Amazing. What’s more amazing is how many people just shrug it off, especially considering that he signed up long after it was compulsory. Next time you hear a rags-to-riches story and some hillbilly inevitably says “Only in America”, you say “Nah-ah. Did you know that in the Vatican you can go from decorated Nazi to Jesus’ earthly representative?”


TWO TRAITS I’VE NOTICED IN GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE THAT SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME:


2. He Was Once A US Attorney
1. He Has A Slight Lisp
How long until we find out that he once married his cousin and likes to dress in drag? The minute he tells you to “Walk North” you should run for the hills instead.

ONE PERSON WHO I’LL DEFEND EVEN IF I’M THE LAST ONE TO DO SO
1. Nancy Pelosi. Forget about the criticisms from the far right, as noted they’re old and decaying and for the most part, will be dead soon. But the Left is (understandably) mad as hell about the inaction in DC. I am too. However, like 5% of the nation, I know how government works. I know the difference between a Speaker of the House and Senate Majority Leader (Cough: And President). Anything the Prez asked for from the House, Speaker Pelosi’s delivered: Stimulus, Jobs, Cap’n Trade, and of course, Health Care. Despite being demonized and caricaturized, she keeps fuckin’ that chicken and providing results.


The problem lies in the Senate where Harry Reid can’t get 2 Democrats to order a seltzer with lime without them both asking “What’s in it for me?” Likewise, the White House has done a miserable job in strong-arming said senate democrats. But leave the Speaker out of this. She’s passed everything that we elected a majority to pass, and as an added bonus, those bigots and misogynists known as Tea Baggers have to not only deal with a black president, but a female Speaker of the House. From San Francisco!