I Hate To Tell Ya but...

-The best candidate that the College of Cardinals could come up with to be the successor of Saint Peter in 2005 was a former Nazi with a penchant for giving cover to pedophiles.

-Fortysomethings need to explain to me what's so special about The Police, The Eagles, and Genesis.

-Olympic hockey magnified how boring regular season hockey can be.

-If the federal government can mandate that each individual saves for retirement as they do with Social Security, I see no constitutional reason why they can't do the same for health insurance.

-Nothing makes the collective sports media stain their shorts like speculating about an all-pro QB north of 30 changing teams.

-Somebody really needs to explain to me who decides when Easter is and how they do it.

-It bothers me that people never say "goodbye" when hanging up the phone on television.

-The shock, awe and amazement at the Minnesota Twins signing Joe Mauer to the third richest contract in baseball history shouldn't be covered as shocking, awesome, or amazing. The Pohlad Family, which has owned the Twins since 1984, has a net-worth of about 3.6 billion. That's more than double the worth of the big, bad, evil Steinbrenner family.

-I have a hard time thinking of anything else by but Brian Fellow's Safari Planet when I hear Oprah narrate "Life"

-I'm not sure when exactly it became more enjoyable to watch sports at home than in person, but it happened.

-Calling Glen Beck "batshit crazy" insults guano.

-I fully expect "The Hangover 2" to be the most disappointing sequel in the history of movies.

-It's about effing Time that the Pacific Theater got the spotlight it deserved. I hope this helps close what I call the "Stigma Gap" between Germany and Japan.

-Eli Manning is the most successful quarterback in the Class of 2004 to never be accused of rape. 

-Europe really fucked up Africa, didn't it?

-If you were to judge me solely by the context of the "FWD" emails I receive, you'd swear I was a racist Evangelical Christian Republican fundraiser.