Some couples enjoy walks on the beach. Some enjoy an evening of fine dining and dancing (at least that’s what the movies say, I've never been out at a restaurant where people got up to dance to Tony Bennett). Some are into gardening.
My wife and I? We love nothing more than spending a Saturday morning with two pots of coffee and debating controversial issues of the day. Save for a few mornings where I'm nursing an unexpected hangover (I always think I'm gonna party on Fridays but usually pass out 20 minutes into "Numbers" after a beer and a half), our "Saturday Morning chats" have slowly become a ritual over the last 8 years.
Heck, I even have a custom playlist for it, which is the final step in my canonization of a tradition.
At the end of each match, er, morning, the cornucopia of topics is usually boiled down to one premise: my personal inability to grasp why 85% of this planet is so hell-bent on "Faith". So as not to offend, I generally stick to complaints about Christianity, since that's the culture I was raised in and I've noticed in this PC world, you're allowed to go off the handle, use offensive terminology and make broad, blanketing statements - as long as it's your own culture/heritage you're demeaning.
Occasionally, as I'm doing a little "Bible Bashing" my wife will point out that when you take away the bullshit that's used to polarize and politicize in our modern times, the Bible can offer some important life lessons. To me, the only lesson that sticks out is: Unless you've hired a miracle worker, make sure you have enough booze at a wedding.
Moving beyond burning bulls to atone for homosexual acts, I'll take her word that indeed, there are valuable lessons to be learned. I will counter, however, that the same can be said for Rock'N Roll, and rock is eminently more enjoyable than reading a 2,000 year old book that's been translated over and over again.
Looking exclusively at "Classic Rock", I ask that you consider...
"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need" - The Rolling Stones. As one who's currently trying to lose some baby-fat, I would point out how this is insanely good dieting advice. I want a Double Bacon Angry Whopper with extra pepper jack sauce. I need a granola bar. Problem solved.
"You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows" - Bob Dylan. Don't let someone piss on your face and tell you it's raining. Just because they call it a "Clear Skies Initiative" doesn't mean it's good for their environment, and here's another hint: Nobody hates you for your freedoms.
"The sun will shine on my backdoor someday" - The Grateful Dead. Life ain't always gonna suck, get over it. I mean, there's another way to interpret this too I guess, but I'll leave that up to you.
"In Birmingham they love the Governor, Now we all did what we can do" - Lynyrd Skynyrd. Um, white guys from Alabama are generally racist.
"You say you got a real solution, well you know, we'd all love to see the plans" - The Beatles. Lead, Follow, or Shut the Fuck Up.
"Into this house we're born. Into this world we're thrown" - The Doors. Life ain't always fair, you got to play the hand you're dealt. The sooner you realize this and adjust your expectations, the easier it all becomes.
"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to loose" - Janis Joplin. The more you own, the less you have.
Call me irreverent, call me ornery and close-minded, call me crazy. But I ask, is this any crazier than relying on a manuscript penned 2600 years ago that declares how long, and under what circumstances, a woman shall remain "unclean" after child birth?
Keep on Truckin'
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