It's the first full day of action live from the deep recesses of my brain. The Village Regional First Round Action is ready to commence. The overwhelming favorite in the region is the legendary Bob Dylan, who likely will beat any and all comers in the "Entire Collection" category, which in turn would give him a three point advantage off the bat.
This is a region of heavy hitters. Bon Jovi. Guns N Roses. The Red Hot Chili Peppers. All possess the ability to make it out of other regions. But slaying Bob the Giant is no ordinary task. Speaking of which, a bunch of burnouts from Jersey have the unenviable task of being the first to make such an attempt...
A reminder, all
Rules & Criteria can be found here
VILLAGE REGION: FIRST ROUND ACTION
(1) Bob Dylan vs. (16) Skid Row. The Skids eeked out a play-in match against the Barenaked Ladies. There's something they can hang their hat on. This one's a clean 9-0 sweep.
FINAL SCORE: BOB DYLAN 9 ~ SKID ROW 0
(8) Beastie Boys vs. (9) Jack Johnson. This one goes down to the wire. The Beasties take the prize for Defining Album with
License to Ill. Can't deny how good it remains to this day. Even the politically incorrect "Girls". They take the Defining Song points as well, as "Fight For Your Right" beats any single Johnson tune. And seeing that they're going strong in their 3rd decade and are widely considered pioneers, they get the Impact point. Johnson fights back strong with Personal Connection however, despite having a 20 year disadvantage. For the last 5 years, Jack's been the go-to-guy for a mellow Sunday morning cup of coffee, a breezy Saturday afternoon on my deck, or a hungover car ride home from a hotel.
The big prize is still out there: 3 Points for "Entire Collection". As great as the Beasties are, as great as they've been, the Hawaiian takes this down. His entire catalogue - even if it's only a fraction of the Beastie Boys' - is nearly blemish-free. For the past decade he's churned out nothing but solid, borderline great music. And he pulls off the upset.
FINAL SCORE: JACK JOHNSON 5 ~ BEASTIE BOYS 4
(4) White Stripes vs. (13) Notorious B.I.G. This is a weird matchup, isn't it? The clearest advantage is Biggy's "Historical Impact". It's kind of an unfair advantage when you're shot to death. Ask Bobby Kennedy, whom you'd think was one of the best presidents ever, aside from the fact that he wasn't even nominated to run for president, let alone elected as such. I'm also giving the Notorious one the Song category, as Big Poppa squeaks past Ball and Biscuit. In short though, the Stripes are sweeping the rest behind the strength of their collection as a whole, "Elephant" as album, and the fact that they were an integral part of the soundtrack of my late 20s and early 30s.
FINAL SCORE: WHITE STRIPES 7 ~ NOTORIOUS B.I.G. 2
(5) Red Hot Chili Peppers vs. (12) Aerosmith. Aerosmith jumps out to a lead by winning the Song, as "Dream On" defeats "Under the Bridge" (I had a bitch of a time here, with "Scar Tissue", "Snow", "Apache Rose Peacock" and others in the running), but the Peppers run the table and turn this into a blowout by way of Album (Stadium Arcadium), Collection, Connection, and Impact, which I debated, but stand by.
FINAL SCORE: RHCP 8 ~ AEROSMITH 1
(3) Bon Jovi vs. (14) Counting Crows. Pump your fists New Jersey, you got yourself a clean sweep.
FINAL SCORE: BON JOVI 9 ~ COUNTING CROWS 0
(6) Black Crowes vs. (11) Metallica. From the top, Metallica takes the prize for Collection. Barely, but they do. Crowes claim Album, as
Amorica narrowly defeats
Metallica (Black Album) - which I never thought was as good as
Justice...For All till I really considered it. Personal connection goes to the Crowes, namely for "Wiser Time" and all it's meant to me. With an assist from Mariano Rivera, "Enter Sandman" is declared the head to head song victor. We're at an even 4-4 score going into Historical Impact, and I think it's safe to say, we have our first somewhat big upset.
FINAL SCORE: METALLICA 5 ~ BLACK CROWES 4
(7) Stevie Wonder vs. (10) The Who. Fans of the British Conference are furious at The Who's seeding here. But they should be glad that they weren't set up for the upset. Damaged by a piss poor performance at the Super Bowl - the absurdity of singing "My Generation" when you can collect social security checks, and the tie-in to the CSI Franchise, they haven't done themselves many favors of late. Still, an intriguing matchup as they're able to claim personal connection despite all that (credit my own British Invasion of 1996-1999, who cares if it was 30 years too late), and the Song by way of "Baba O'Reilly". But on the strength of his own historical impact
, the landmark album
Songs in the Key of Life, and a better overall collection even if there's a little too much fluff, Stevie Wonder clinches this one.
FINAL SCORE: STEVIE WONDER 6 ~ THE WHO 3
(2) Guns N Roses vs. (15) Weezer. Initially I gave Weezer the credit for Entire Catalogue, reason being they're still making albums, while GNR mailed it in after
Use Your Illusions II - and
Illusions I wasn't that special anyway. Then I thought about it, I listened to some select tracks all over again, and realized Weezer's entire collection doesn't even match up to the B-Side of
GNR Lies - to say nothing of
Illusions II and
Appettite For Destruction. Given all that, it's no surprise that this is a shutout.
FINAL SCORE: GUNS N ROSES 9 ~ WEEZER 0
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When Round Two of the Region begins sometime next week, the matchups will be:
(1) Bob Dylan v (9) Jack Johnson
(4) White Stripes v (5) Red Hot Chili Peppers
(3) Bon Jovi v (11) Metallica
(2) Guns N Roses v (7) Stevie Wonder
At first glance it looks very favorable for the big seeds and that 4/5 matchup is tasty, going to have to send Gus Johnson to call that one. Can Metallica ride "Enter Sandman" to pull off the upset? Will Jack Johnson avoid a shutout? Does the winner of the Stripes/Peppers game have the ability to make a run at the prohibitive favorite? Who wins out between the blind versus the bat-shit crazy?
Next up is the Liverpool Region, here's
the updated bracket
