Weather's more beautiful than Porterhouse and Lager meal with a loaded baked potato 'round these parts.
FIVE SONGS I'M GOING TO BLAST WITH THE WINDOWS DOWN ON THE WAY HOME
5. Brown Eyed Women (Grateful Dead) - Respect the song that respect Michael Scott's drink of choice (Grenadine)
4. Coming in from the Cold (Bob Marley) - Finally
3. Candy's Room (Bruce Springsteen) - Slowly turning into an obsession.
2. Country Roads (John Denver) - A jumpstart on the pregame
1. Mr. Brightside (The Killers) - I know it's implied and all, but seriously, this line grinds my gears:
Now they're going to bed
and my stomach is SICK
And it's all in my head
but she's touching his.....Chest? Really?
Regardless, a great blow-your-speaker tune on a beautiful day.
FOUR SONGS FOR MY FOUR TEAMS
4. Paradise by the Dashboard Light - The New York Rangers. When I was barely seventeen, you blew my mind and hooked me for life. And I've regretted it ever since. Now I'm praying for the end of time so I can end my time with you.
3. Living In Sin - The Boston Celtics. Baby can you tell me just where we fit in? I call it love, they call it living in sin. I have a "Look Who's Coming to Dinner" moment every time someone finds out that despite being NYCmetro born and raised, I hate the Knicks and love me some C's.
2. Thank You - The New York Football Giants. I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life. Super Bowl XLII, 2/3/08, was just like 9/11, except totally opposite. Every year somebody wins a Super Bowl. Just about every NFL Team that's been around for a generation or two has won one. But nobody else ended perfection. Nobody else had the greatest play in the history of Sport. To think the ghosts of the 2004 ALCS could never be exorcised...
1. Wonderful Tonight - The New York Yankees. Cheesey, Sappy, whatever. They rarely disappoint and the lifetime commitment has been much more joy than pain.
THREE RATINGS BONANZAS I NEVER GOT INTO
3. Survivor. From the little I've seen over the last 10 years, it seems so overwhelmingly obvious that it's all staged. And pretty friggin stupid and unappealing if you ask me.
2. American Idol. Karaoke's only fun when you're drunk.
1. Seinfeld. Dick Cheney once said he had "other priorities" during the Vietnam War that prevented him from serving. Well I has "other priorities" in the 90s I guess.
TWO CONSERVATIVES I ACTUALLY ENJOY FOLLOWING ON TWITTER
2. Meghan McCain. @McCainBlogette -Don't ask me why. There's little in terms of substance there, it's the twitter equivalent of Jersey Shore I guess. Maybe I'm just fascinated that a man as old as John McCain has a daughter significantly younger than me. Makes Larry King seem like an irresponsible teenage father.
1. Joe Scarborough @JoeNBC. Always the first to criticize the outrageous and insulting behavior of the Tea Baggers, despite similar political views.
ONE WAY TO MAKE EASTER MORE INTERESTING
1. Move it to Saturday. If you want a seat at the grown-up's holiday table, you can't be before a work day. Thanksgiving kicks off a 4 day weekend. Very few people work on December 26th. And if you do, you can go balls out on Christmas Eve. 4th of July, Memorial Day, Labor Day - these are rarely celebrated the day before work starts. But nobody ever thinks to do Easter on a Saturday.
Even if you were to look at tradition, this could work. We know that Jesus died for your sins on Good Friday and rose on Sunday per biblical accounts. On Saturday, nothing happened. The Apostles sat around feeling sorry for themselves, and Jesus was, well, wherever people go in between dying and rising from the dead. So it's not as if we're depriving some sacred Saturday tradition of it's due. Easter on Saturday, it makes too much sense. Let the wine flow. Enjoy leftover ham sandwiches at 2 AM. And do your own miraculous resurection on Sunday morning.
Showing posts with label Five For Friday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Five For Friday. Show all posts
Friday, April 2, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Five For Friday 2/12/10
And the Wheel of Topics stops on………..Politics. Happy Valentine’s Day
FIVE PEOPLE I’M GLAD WE DON’T HAVE TO HEAR FROM ANYMORE
5. Tony Snow. It’s a shame when someone doesn’t see their 60th birthday and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But when you spent what turned out to be your last decade on earth as a Fox News host AND White House Press Secretary for the Bush Administration, consider it Karmic Justice.
4. Strom Thurmond. Segregationist. With illegitimate black children. Yet consistently sent back to the Senate for half a decade. We totally mismanaged Reconstruction.
3. Jerry Falwell. Evangelical that blamed 9/11 on gays. And people continued to send him money. And people still pay to send their children his Madrasah known as “Liberty University”. Baffling.
2. Timothy McVeigh. Follow this train of thought: Tea Baggers think the President’s soft on terrorism. Timmy McV was the original Tea Bagger. I wonder if this dichotomy was discussed at the $500 per ticket convention for average folks.
1. Ronald Reagan. Every major problem of 2010: Terrorism emanating from Afghanistan, the lack of workers’ protections, the greatest disparity of wealth in history, and the lack of financial safeguards and regulations can be traced back to this shitbag. Yet anti-gay conservatives are so unbelievably gay for him. His chickens all came home to roost over the last 10 years and lucky for us, we get to see Reaganism in all it’s glory manifested in this shitstorm we call Life On Earth 2010.
FOUR PEOPLE WE UNFORTUNATELY DO HEAR FROM
4. Sean Hannity. I don’t care about demagogues like Glen Beck and Rush Limbaugh. They only reach a small, bitter, aging, angry, lilywhite portion of the population. What’s dangerous about Hannity is that people think he’s a middle of the road analyst who tells it like it is, when the reality is he’s squarely in the Beck/Limbaugh/Savage/Goebbels camp.
3. Sarah Palin. I have a love/hate relationship with Misses Reproduce Like Rabbits and Pass That Core Family Value On To My Daughter. On one hand, I despise every sentence uttered from that vast open space between her ears. On the other, despite the fact that Bushie got “elected” twice, I can’t possibly see America voting for someone that fucking dumb so having her in a prominent position within the GOP is probably good for America.
2. Tim Tebow. I’m pretty much convinced he’s a Jihadist. I think Homeland Security needs to be on alert the first time he travels to play in San Francisco, New York or Seattle this upcoming season.
1. Joe Lieberman. Self-serving prick. Nothing left to say.
THREE SIMPLE QUESTIONS I’VE ASKED MANY TIMES THAT STILL HAVE NOT BEEN ANSWERED INTELLIGENTLY
3. How Does Same-Sex Marriage Threaten The Institution of Marriage Itself? Seriously? Is everyone going to divorce their spouse and go marry someone of the same gender? Honestly, can somebody PLEASE answer this w/o referring to God or Scripture?
2. What “Freedoms” Do “They” Hate Us For? Dubya uttered this bullshit about 4 hours after the attacks and people just took him at his word (No need to examine the track record of “His Word” is there?). But nobody’s quite translated this into something that people who can read at the 4th Grade Level or better can understand. Do they not like that we can choose between Coke and Pepsi? Does our freedom to petition our government in a chain-link-fenced in “Free Speech Zone” piss them off so much that they had to commit an act of war?
1. How, Over The Span of One Lifetime, Do You Go From Nazi Labor Camp Guard To Pope? From guardian of the Third Reich to Successor of Saint Peter. Amazing. What’s more amazing is how many people just shrug it off, especially considering that he signed up long after it was compulsory. Next time you hear a rags-to-riches story and some hillbilly inevitably says “Only in America”, you say “Nah-ah. Did you know that in the Vatican you can go from decorated Nazi to Jesus’ earthly representative?”
TWO TRAITS I’VE NOTICED IN GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE THAT SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME:
2. He Was Once A US Attorney
1. He Has A Slight Lisp
How long until we find out that he once married his cousin and likes to dress in drag? The minute he tells you to “Walk North” you should run for the hills instead.
ONE PERSON WHO I’LL DEFEND EVEN IF I’M THE LAST ONE TO DO SO
1. Nancy Pelosi. Forget about the criticisms from the far right, as noted they’re old and decaying and for the most part, will be dead soon. But the Left is (understandably) mad as hell about the inaction in DC. I am too. However, like 5% of the nation, I know how government works. I know the difference between a Speaker of the House and Senate Majority Leader (Cough: And President). Anything the Prez asked for from the House, Speaker Pelosi’s delivered: Stimulus, Jobs, Cap’n Trade, and of course, Health Care. Despite being demonized and caricaturized, she keeps fuckin’ that chicken and providing results.
The problem lies in the Senate where Harry Reid can’t get 2 Democrats to order a seltzer with lime without them both asking “What’s in it for me?” Likewise, the White House has done a miserable job in strong-arming said senate democrats. But leave the Speaker out of this. She’s passed everything that we elected a majority to pass, and as an added bonus, those bigots and misogynists known as Tea Baggers have to not only deal with a black president, but a female Speaker of the House. From San Francisco!
FIVE PEOPLE I’M GLAD WE DON’T HAVE TO HEAR FROM ANYMORE
5. Tony Snow. It’s a shame when someone doesn’t see their 60th birthday and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But when you spent what turned out to be your last decade on earth as a Fox News host AND White House Press Secretary for the Bush Administration, consider it Karmic Justice.
4. Strom Thurmond. Segregationist. With illegitimate black children. Yet consistently sent back to the Senate for half a decade. We totally mismanaged Reconstruction.
3. Jerry Falwell. Evangelical that blamed 9/11 on gays. And people continued to send him money. And people still pay to send their children his Madrasah known as “Liberty University”. Baffling.
2. Timothy McVeigh. Follow this train of thought: Tea Baggers think the President’s soft on terrorism. Timmy McV was the original Tea Bagger. I wonder if this dichotomy was discussed at the $500 per ticket convention for average folks.
1. Ronald Reagan. Every major problem of 2010: Terrorism emanating from Afghanistan, the lack of workers’ protections, the greatest disparity of wealth in history, and the lack of financial safeguards and regulations can be traced back to this shitbag. Yet anti-gay conservatives are so unbelievably gay for him. His chickens all came home to roost over the last 10 years and lucky for us, we get to see Reaganism in all it’s glory manifested in this shitstorm we call Life On Earth 2010.
FOUR PEOPLE WE UNFORTUNATELY DO HEAR FROM
4. Sean Hannity. I don’t care about demagogues like Glen Beck and Rush Limbaugh. They only reach a small, bitter, aging, angry, lilywhite portion of the population. What’s dangerous about Hannity is that people think he’s a middle of the road analyst who tells it like it is, when the reality is he’s squarely in the Beck/Limbaugh/Savage/Goebbels camp.
3. Sarah Palin. I have a love/hate relationship with Misses Reproduce Like Rabbits and Pass That Core Family Value On To My Daughter. On one hand, I despise every sentence uttered from that vast open space between her ears. On the other, despite the fact that Bushie got “elected” twice, I can’t possibly see America voting for someone that fucking dumb so having her in a prominent position within the GOP is probably good for America.
2. Tim Tebow. I’m pretty much convinced he’s a Jihadist. I think Homeland Security needs to be on alert the first time he travels to play in San Francisco, New York or Seattle this upcoming season.
1. Joe Lieberman. Self-serving prick. Nothing left to say.
THREE SIMPLE QUESTIONS I’VE ASKED MANY TIMES THAT STILL HAVE NOT BEEN ANSWERED INTELLIGENTLY
3. How Does Same-Sex Marriage Threaten The Institution of Marriage Itself? Seriously? Is everyone going to divorce their spouse and go marry someone of the same gender? Honestly, can somebody PLEASE answer this w/o referring to God or Scripture?
2. What “Freedoms” Do “They” Hate Us For? Dubya uttered this bullshit about 4 hours after the attacks and people just took him at his word (No need to examine the track record of “His Word” is there?). But nobody’s quite translated this into something that people who can read at the 4th Grade Level or better can understand. Do they not like that we can choose between Coke and Pepsi? Does our freedom to petition our government in a chain-link-fenced in “Free Speech Zone” piss them off so much that they had to commit an act of war?
1. How, Over The Span of One Lifetime, Do You Go From Nazi Labor Camp Guard To Pope? From guardian of the Third Reich to Successor of Saint Peter. Amazing. What’s more amazing is how many people just shrug it off, especially considering that he signed up long after it was compulsory. Next time you hear a rags-to-riches story and some hillbilly inevitably says “Only in America”, you say “Nah-ah. Did you know that in the Vatican you can go from decorated Nazi to Jesus’ earthly representative?”
TWO TRAITS I’VE NOTICED IN GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE THAT SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME:
2. He Was Once A US Attorney
1. He Has A Slight Lisp
How long until we find out that he once married his cousin and likes to dress in drag? The minute he tells you to “Walk North” you should run for the hills instead.
ONE PERSON WHO I’LL DEFEND EVEN IF I’M THE LAST ONE TO DO SO
1. Nancy Pelosi. Forget about the criticisms from the far right, as noted they’re old and decaying and for the most part, will be dead soon. But the Left is (understandably) mad as hell about the inaction in DC. I am too. However, like 5% of the nation, I know how government works. I know the difference between a Speaker of the House and Senate Majority Leader (Cough: And President). Anything the Prez asked for from the House, Speaker Pelosi’s delivered: Stimulus, Jobs, Cap’n Trade, and of course, Health Care. Despite being demonized and caricaturized, she keeps fuckin’ that chicken and providing results.
The problem lies in the Senate where Harry Reid can’t get 2 Democrats to order a seltzer with lime without them both asking “What’s in it for me?” Likewise, the White House has done a miserable job in strong-arming said senate democrats. But leave the Speaker out of this. She’s passed everything that we elected a majority to pass, and as an added bonus, those bigots and misogynists known as Tea Baggers have to not only deal with a black president, but a female Speaker of the House. From San Francisco!
Friday, February 5, 2010
Five For Friday 2/5/10
Take it all with a grain of salt, because I obviously don't know anything about music considering Taylor Swift apparently cut the greatest album in the history of ears, and here I am thinking she's a poor man's Debbie Gibson.
FIVE COVERS THAT ARE BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL:
5. Boys of Summer, The Ataris (original artist: Don Henley). Loses some points for replacing “Dead-Head” with “Black Flag”.
4. Superstar, Sonic Youth (The Carpenters). Face it: There ain’t anything cool about the Carpenters, save for some outdated jokes about eating disorders. Sonic Youth erases the stigma of listening to the Carpenters. Victory.
3. The Star Spangled Banner, Jimi Hendrix (Everyone under the sun). Nothing’s more American than the national anthem and Hendrix was a unique American genius. Perfect match. Performed at Woodstock in front of many people who would eventually refuse to fight for LBJ. American heroes. (I’m a bi-partisan asshole. Stupid presidents and stupid wars are stupid regardless of party). Oh, and for what it’s worth, I’m in that .00003% of people who prefer Dylan’s “Watchtower” to Jimi’s. So no, I’m not missing the obvious here.
2. Scarlet Begonias, Sublime (Grateful Dead). A great GD song. A legendary Sublime tune. Added a verse about selling drugs. Awesome.
1.Hurt, Johnny Cash (Nine Inch Nails). Award for strangest cover also. A legend prepares to die. I eat that shit up.
FOUR COVERS CONSIDERED MUSICAL TREASON:
4. Can’t Help Falling in Love, UB40 (Elvis Presley). Had to flip a coin between this abomination and the audio diarrhea that was their cover of Neil Diamond’s “Red, Red Wine”. Heads it it.
3. No Woman, No Cry (The Fugees). Terrible. Insulting. Disgraceful.
2. American Pie, Madonna (Don McLean). Would it be too easy to refer to her recording of this iconic hit as “The Day The Music Died?”
1. Sweet Child O’Mine, Sheryl Crow (Guns N Roses). Having Sheryl Crow sing this GNR classic is basically the equivalent of having Bill Cosby draw over the Mona Lisa on Picture Pages.
THREE ALBUMS TO GET YOU THROUGH ST. PATRICK’S DAY SEASON:
3. This Light, Emish. Orange County, New York can produce more than motorcycles and oranges as Emish attests. And This Light has the requisite “Fields of Athenry” to make your Paddy’s season a success.
2. Drunken Lullabies, Flogging Molly. Buy it. You’ll thank me.
1. 25th Anniversary, The Wolfe Tones. Don’t know why I said three when this is really all you need. There’s some classics missing from the collection (Most notably “Streets of New York” and “Some Say the Divil is Dead”) but tis a great album to blast loud enough so the British can hear you.
TWO POPULAR CDS FROM THE 1990s I ENJOY MORE NOW THAN I DID THEN:
2. Californication, Red Hot Chili Peppers. Must not have been in the right headspace at the time, I thought this album was junk. Alas, like my original opinion on the necessity of an iPod (and John Edwards’ character), I was dead wrong.
1.Vitalogy, Pearl Jam. Thought this disc was a major downer upon it’s 1994 release. In all fairness, expectations were through the roof after Ten and Vs. Looking back, it features one of the band’s 5 best songs ("Corduroy") and 2 others I’d put in the top 15 in "Better Man" and "Nothingman". Wish I could say this was the only thing I was wrong about at 17, but I’m sure there’s some documentation out there linking my beliefs at the time to those of Pat Buchanan.
ONE RECENTLY DOWNLOADED (BAD) SONG FOR NOSTALGIC PURPOSES
1. Knockin’ Boots, Candyman. Good lord I forgot how bad (yet extremely enjoyable) this song was. Cheesy Bubble-gum rock gets plenty of play but where’s the love for rap’s equivalent? Would a rap single today even use the word “breasts” – or would it simply be “tits” with a half-assed bleep out on the radio?
I enjoy the degeneration of our societal standards as much as the next guy and look forward to a day with no FCC and no Faux-Outrage over Super Bowl Boobs and the like, but that doesn’t mean I can’t respect a song about sloppy post-show sex that does it’s damndest to keep it PG. If you’re between the ages of 27 and 35, I highly recommend you spend the 99 cents and enjoy. Or, you know, illegally download it but the Recording Industry of America asks that we don’t do that, and they’ve always had our best interests in mind, right?
FIVE COVERS THAT ARE BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL:
5. Boys of Summer, The Ataris (original artist: Don Henley). Loses some points for replacing “Dead-Head” with “Black Flag”.
4. Superstar, Sonic Youth (The Carpenters). Face it: There ain’t anything cool about the Carpenters, save for some outdated jokes about eating disorders. Sonic Youth erases the stigma of listening to the Carpenters. Victory.
3. The Star Spangled Banner, Jimi Hendrix (Everyone under the sun). Nothing’s more American than the national anthem and Hendrix was a unique American genius. Perfect match. Performed at Woodstock in front of many people who would eventually refuse to fight for LBJ. American heroes. (I’m a bi-partisan asshole. Stupid presidents and stupid wars are stupid regardless of party). Oh, and for what it’s worth, I’m in that .00003% of people who prefer Dylan’s “Watchtower” to Jimi’s. So no, I’m not missing the obvious here.
2. Scarlet Begonias, Sublime (Grateful Dead). A great GD song. A legendary Sublime tune. Added a verse about selling drugs. Awesome.
1.Hurt, Johnny Cash (Nine Inch Nails). Award for strangest cover also. A legend prepares to die. I eat that shit up.
FOUR COVERS CONSIDERED MUSICAL TREASON:
4. Can’t Help Falling in Love, UB40 (Elvis Presley). Had to flip a coin between this abomination and the audio diarrhea that was their cover of Neil Diamond’s “Red, Red Wine”. Heads it it.
3. No Woman, No Cry (The Fugees). Terrible. Insulting. Disgraceful.
2. American Pie, Madonna (Don McLean). Would it be too easy to refer to her recording of this iconic hit as “The Day The Music Died?”
1. Sweet Child O’Mine, Sheryl Crow (Guns N Roses). Having Sheryl Crow sing this GNR classic is basically the equivalent of having Bill Cosby draw over the Mona Lisa on Picture Pages.
THREE ALBUMS TO GET YOU THROUGH ST. PATRICK’S DAY SEASON:
3. This Light, Emish. Orange County, New York can produce more than motorcycles and oranges as Emish attests. And This Light has the requisite “Fields of Athenry” to make your Paddy’s season a success.
2. Drunken Lullabies, Flogging Molly. Buy it. You’ll thank me.
1. 25th Anniversary, The Wolfe Tones. Don’t know why I said three when this is really all you need. There’s some classics missing from the collection (Most notably “Streets of New York” and “Some Say the Divil is Dead”) but tis a great album to blast loud enough so the British can hear you.
TWO POPULAR CDS FROM THE 1990s I ENJOY MORE NOW THAN I DID THEN:
2. Californication, Red Hot Chili Peppers. Must not have been in the right headspace at the time, I thought this album was junk. Alas, like my original opinion on the necessity of an iPod (and John Edwards’ character), I was dead wrong.
1.Vitalogy, Pearl Jam. Thought this disc was a major downer upon it’s 1994 release. In all fairness, expectations were through the roof after Ten and Vs. Looking back, it features one of the band’s 5 best songs ("Corduroy") and 2 others I’d put in the top 15 in "Better Man" and "Nothingman". Wish I could say this was the only thing I was wrong about at 17, but I’m sure there’s some documentation out there linking my beliefs at the time to those of Pat Buchanan.
ONE RECENTLY DOWNLOADED (BAD) SONG FOR NOSTALGIC PURPOSES
1. Knockin’ Boots, Candyman. Good lord I forgot how bad (yet extremely enjoyable) this song was. Cheesy Bubble-gum rock gets plenty of play but where’s the love for rap’s equivalent? Would a rap single today even use the word “breasts” – or would it simply be “tits” with a half-assed bleep out on the radio?
I enjoy the degeneration of our societal standards as much as the next guy and look forward to a day with no FCC and no Faux-Outrage over Super Bowl Boobs and the like, but that doesn’t mean I can’t respect a song about sloppy post-show sex that does it’s damndest to keep it PG. If you’re between the ages of 27 and 35, I highly recommend you spend the 99 cents and enjoy. Or, you know, illegally download it but the Recording Industry of America asks that we don’t do that, and they’ve always had our best interests in mind, right?
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