Standing at the Altar of Greatness: Yankee Legends

My friends, Happy Opening Day! So begins another big season in the Bronx, despite what many experts may be saying. And even non-experts - my head keeps telling me it's going to be a Boston-Philly World Series. But make no mistake - my heart says as loud and as clear as possible: Mission 28 Will Be Accomplished.

Beyond the annual expectations of a Halloween Champagne Shower, we've got something else to look forward to in the coming six months: Three Thousand, followed by Six Hundred. Somewhere between Memorial Day and Father's Day, the Captain, Shortstop, Number 2, will become the first man ever to record 3,000 hits in pinstripes. Not Lou Gehrig. Not Joe D. Derek Jeter.

And if all goes well, somewhere in mid to late September, The Greatest Reliever in history should nail down Save #600. If he tags on 1 more, he'll tie the record for the most saves by anyone in history. The most deserving record by an individual in history. Total number of saves needed by the Sandman to achieve that? As luck would have it, Forty Two.

Neither is a guarantee, what with the advanced age of these legends. But both plateaus are eminently achievable. And it's not only a great day on the horizon for the future hall of famers themselves, but it's a great day for us. The other day, ESPNNY ranked the 50 Greatest Yankees of all time. Obviously it was an honor to have seen all or parts of the careers of Mike Mussina (50), Coney (45), Rickey Henderson (40), The Warrior (30), Big Dave (28), Jorgie (21), Bernie (19), Gator (17), Andy (16), reluctantly ARod (13) and especially Donnie Baseball (11).

But it's easier to be considered among the Top 10 Presidents of All Time than it is to be ranked as a Top 10 New York Yankee. And that's where we find our Captain (7) and The Closer (5). Of all the players in the Top 10 - none have played as long together as these guys. Sure, you had Murders' Row with Gherig (2) and Ruth (1). Yogi (6) bridged the gap from Joe D (3) to The Mick (4). For most of the Eisenhower Administration, the storied locker room included not only Yogi and Mickey, but The Chairman of the Board (8).

But we're talking intervals of 5 to 8 years of some of these legends sharing the same real estate. Derek Sanderson Jeter and Mariano Rivera have been among the best, if not the best, at their position every season since 1996. As much as it pains me to admit it, as I'd love nothing more than to be 170 lbs and drinking post-Game Six pink champagne till the sun comes up and ready to do it again the next day, that was a long freaking time ago.

It seems like forever since #51 graced center field in the old stadium. Andy's recently moved on. Jorge's in what's most likely his last season in pinstripes. The opening day catcher from that 96 team is going into his fourth season as skipper. But Jeter and Rivera have been the constant over what's arguably - considering expansion of teams and post season rounds - the longest extended period of dominance in the storied history of the New York Yankees.

We've been old enough to appreciate it, and fortunate enough to witness it. What makes it even more special - and yes, this is only the 1,348th time I've probably told you - is where we came from. Baseball as an institution is never better than when you're 10 years old. And when we were 10, the Yanks were brutal. But it's paid dividends one-hundredfold, and has made all of that bubbly taste even sweeter. It's become who we are:

• We are billboards for Brut, Getty, Marlboro and Manufacturer's Hanover Trust
• We are Phil Rizzuto, for six innings before bolting to beat traffic, wishing his paper boy a happy birthday
• We are Roger Maris, hair falling out from chemo - not pressure - embracing The Mick on his last Old Timer's Day
• We are Lay's Jacket Day for all fans 14 and under
• We are Jim Abbot's No Hitter.
• We are the soothing sound of Eddie Layton's fingers gracing the Hammond Organ
• We are #1 1/2 - Robert Merrill, singing the national anthem.
• We are FREDDY SEZ
• We are sitting in a stadium on a May school night with less than 15,000 in attendance against the Blue Jays
• We are the "next Babe Ruth" - Bye Bye Balboni
• We are Donnie Baseball
• We are the Core Four
• We are The Voice Of God, kindly asking us to please direct our attention to the area behind home plate
• We are Wade Boggs - not on a horse, but feebly grounding out to seal Raghetti's 4th of July No Hitter
• We are Paul O'Neill's "Teenage Wasteland" 
• We are Sterling & Kay, and know NYY radio hasn't been the same since they split. 
• We are NOT Kevin Brown, Roger Clemens, Jason Giambi, or Carl Pavano
• We are Danny Tartabull and Andy Hawkins though
• We are Dale Berra and Bobby Meacham both being tagged out at home. At the same time. 
• We are reluctantly accepting of "Cotton Eyed Joe"
• We are not a 40 foot HD Jumbotron, but rather a glorious black scoreboard donning amber light bulbs
• We are forever grateful to Gene Michael and Buck Showalter (And Boggs, O'Neill and Jimmy Key) for the turnaround
• We are Joe Torre - but we're also Stump Merrill
• We are Luis Sojo asking "Coney, Why don't you have a dance?" 
• We are George Michael Steinbrenner III
• We are deserving yet appreciative of the sheer greatness we've seen the last 15 years.

We are the fans, who will tell our children - and their children - that we witnessed the careers of two All Time Legends, from the first time they put on numbers two and forty-two, until the time those same numbers were unveiled in Monument Park.

Play Ball

Timberland List Thursday: 1/20/10

Another week, the 1714th of my life, in the books, another 10 people, places or things that I humbly suggest deserve a figurative kick in the shins with some hefty Timberland boots...

#10. The Ricky Gervais Haters. I'll preface this by saying I don't think I've watched more than 30 continuous minutes of an award show since the 2 Live Crew performed Banned in the USA at the 1990 Video Music Awards. And I didn't catch this year's Golden Globes either. I did however, see a neatly prepared 3 minute news package on Gervais' alleged insulting miscues and I laughed my ass off. He called out a bunch of people who've made hundreds of millions of dollars taking themselves way too seriously. Enough with the victim treatment.

#9. Facebook Re-Posters. You know who I'm talking about. (Relative, Occupation, or Disease) is so super (great/bad) that everybody should (honor/fight) them. 90% of you won't have the (guts/balls) to repost this if you agree. Enough. We get it. We all love our moms, sisters and troops and we all hate cancer and terrorists. We just don't like being told to do so or having our integrity on such issues/people challenged. Repost if you agree with me.

#8. Antrelle Rolle. He'd rather get his toes sucked by Rex Ryan than get yelled at for missing tackle after tackle by Tom Coughlin. That's his prerogative. The funny thing is, he took more money than anyone at his position has ever taken to play for Coughlin, and it's not as if Coughlin's coaching style became some revelation this past July. Shut up and play. And if you played up to your contract, I'd have ranked you higher. 

#7. The House Of Representatives. A week after agreeing that discourse must become more civil in America, they propose, vote on and pass the "Repeal of the Job Killing Health Care Law". Even though a majority opposes. Even though it kills no jobs. What kind of outrage would we have if, upon taking power in 2007, Pelosi's House voted on "Repeal of the Troop and Civilian Killing War Powers Act". At least that would be factually accurate, no? 

#6. Brian Cashman. Yankees GM offered a 1 year contract to Carl Pavano. For anyone wondering what's wrong with that, it would be the sports equivalent of Tina Turner proposing to remarry Ike. But I guess you can't blame him for chasing the dream of rebuilding my 2002 Fantasy Baseball team with Pavano, Andruw Jones and Mark Prior (to say nothing of Jorge Posada). 

#5. Peter King. Not the SI writer, who's miraculously avoided a Listing for 3 straight weeks. Republican from New York takes control of the House Committee on Homeland Security and decides it's a suddenly a great idea to investigate Muslims. A proud heir to the lineage of Joe McCarthy and Joseph Goebbels. 

#4. TLC. The Learning Channel announced that it will be devoting a week of programing to the British Royal Family in anticipation of whatever wedding they're having this spring. Just what we need on TV: more crap. Call me old fashioned, but I'm of the mindset that these dipshits became irrelevant the minute the Magna Carta was signed. 

#3. American Idol. It's baaaaaaack. More glorified karaoke that will find a way to invade just about every casual conversation you're going to have over the next couple of months, coupled with the crowning of "The Next Great Artist" who's name you'll forget by the 4th of July and may run into playing the county fair in 5 years. 

#2. Pope Benedict XVI. Yeah. I'm not a fan of his. Recently he announced that the Church was proceeding with the Canonization of Pope John Paul II-putting the old bugger on the fast track to Sainthood. To be formally recognized as a "Saint", evidence must be provided that the candidate was responsible for performing a Miracle. I wonder if Benny and his jets consider the ability to be adored worldwide while being the official head of a global pedophilia ring to be "Miraculous"? 

#1. Alabama Governor Robert Bentley. I went into detail about this Good Ol' Boy yesterday so I'm not going to get myself worked up again. But know this - his words and actions are by design, and don't buy any of these faux apologies coming out of his office. His ilk simply doesn't consider anyone who doesn't share their distorted "values" as their equal or countrymen. 

That's a wrap on this week. May you thoroughly enjoy the conclave of rapists and toesuckers on the Monongahela River this weekend.