It doesn't take that much to amaze me it seems, none of these are on par with the wheel, manned spacecraft or the forward pass, but all made my life easier and/or more enjoyable...
#15. ONLINE MINISTRIES. Yup. I'm a minister. But instead of toiling away at a bible school or spooning with a mentor at a seminary, I ran a google search, signed up and bam! I'm ordained. Freedom of Religion's a wonderful thing, the gub'ment has no right to say my spiritual credentials are any less meaningful than Pope Benedict's.
#14. TWITTER. Initially I thought Twitter was a stupid concept, I mean, I don't give a shit that Stephon Marbury ordered a Grand-Slam Breakfast at the Waffle House. But after getting in with it, holy cow, why did it take so long? If you're into sports, I don't know how you live without this. Cut through the BS, get the jist of everything instantly, no more searching through unreliable updates from yahoo news, or waiting for a report to be edited and verified on espn or si.com. Fascinating stuff, and it provided us with "Shit My Dad Says" to top it all off.
#13. WIKIPEDIA. God, I'd hate to be in charge of grading papers in college these days. Wikipedia didn't exist when I was in school and if it did, boy life woulda been easier. Obviously you can't just copy and paste from it, but as a condensed launching point? With sources? Regardless of the academic benefits, the idea of having everything you need to know about anything neatly organized in one place is almost impossible to comprehend. I remember doing elementary school projects using my father's 1963 World Encyclopedia, which I'm pretty sure only had one country on the African Continent: "Africa". (Sarah Palin must still be using these). Not anymore. A list of Friday Night Lights episodes? Done. Glen Danzig's bio? Check. As The Office's Michael Scott said, "It can be edited by anyone in the world so you know you're getting the best information".
#12. AUTOMATIC SANDWICH ORDERING BOARDS. So far I've seen them at Quick Check and WaWa and my only question is: What's taking the rest of the food service world so long to catch up? No more special requests verbalized to someone who doesn't use the same verbs as you. No more answering questions about what you want or dont want, and relying on the stoner making your grub to remember it, cause now it's all there on a screen for them. And I've recently discovered a nifty trick: Quick Check has their Buffalo Chicken Sandwich on sale for $4.99 (footlong). But if you want a chicken parm, just switch "No Cheese" to "Fresh Mozzarella" and "Buffalo Sauce" to "Marinara". And instead of the $7 Chicken Parm, you're paying $5. Little victories baby, they make getting out of bed that much easier.
#11. THE MUSIC GENOME PRODUCT. I don't know much about the specifics and technology behind it, but I do know it's the technological backbone behind "Pandora" and iTunes "Genius" - both of which have made amazing contributions to how we listen to music. The basic point is the songs are mapped out to direct them to similar artists and songs, so instead of using a Neanderthal method like "Shuffle" that will quickly send you from "The Way You Look Tonight" to "Welcome to the Jungle", Genius/Pandora will transition Sinatra to Dean Martin or some other standard. Furthermore, it's the best possible way to expose yourself to new music in genres you're interested in.
#10. THE NEW YANKEE STADIUM. Would rank higher if not for the $10 beer. I don't care about the class-based "Legends Seats". I couldn't afford them at $350 in the old stadium, why should I give a fuck if they're $2500 now, I still can't afford them. The bottom line is, the new Grandstand is 100 times more fan friendly than the old Tier Reserved - where I pretty much sat in every post A-Rod trade game anyway. However, the entire lower bowl is open-aired and friendly to fans of all seating areas, the bleachers now serve alcohol again, there's actually a visible area listing all 26, er, TWENTY FUCKING SEVEN World Series Titles, the food and drink selection is much better (and really not much more expensive than the old digs) and most importantly, it kept the classic look of it's two predecessors. The House that George Built, Steinbrenner's personal pyramid, is an outstanding tribute to the greatest owner in sports history.
#9. MLB REVENUE SHARING. Speaking of baseball. I'm not one to give credit to Bud Selig or Don Fehr, but the 2002 agreement has turned every team into a potential contender. With the greatest diversity of all four sports in terms of placing teams in their respective finals and more different champions than any sport this decade (8 teams, compared to the NHL's 7, NFL's 6 and NBA's 5) the plan has taken economics out of the way as a hurdle to being competitive. With the smallest playoff field of any sport (6 teams) all but 7 teams qualified for the playoffs, and of those 7, mismanagement can be credited in each case. Sorry Baltimore and Toronto, but Tampa proved you can win the AL East and not be named Boston or New York. So those of you in Pittsburgh, stop complaining about NY/BOS spending cause you're starting the year off with house money thanks to revenue sharing. It aint our fault your management sucks.
#8. THE DO NOT CALL LIST. George W. Bush's greatest (and only) accomplishment. When my wife and I first moved in together we got nothing but soliciting phone calls it was miserable. Buy a car and every bank in the country's offering you a credit card. Buy sheets at Target and someone wants to sell you a bed. Pay off a loan and someone wants to offer you a new one. But Bush stepped up and banned this practice. For that, while he's still the worst president ever, it moves him above Stalin in terms of "Historically Disastrous Leaders"
#7. YOUTUBE. Star Wars Kid. Fat People Falling. Virginia Republican Senators making racist comments. Bon Jovi's "Living in Sin" video. Joe Namath's "I Wanna Kiss You" moment. And my personal favorite, this hysterical interpretation of Pearl Jam's "Yellow Ledbetter", You name, Youtube's got it. I remember as the last decade came to a close, ESPN ran a chilling "Images of the Century" package set to Aerosmith's "Dream On". I was emailing everyone who had a @espn.com email address looking to a actually purchase it, it was that incredible. But thanks to this fantastic development, it's now at my fingertips whenever I want it.
#6. FANTASTY SPORTS LIVE SCORING. Gone are the days of waiting for the Monday "USA Today". Fantasy Baseball and Basketball are now eminently possible. And you can be stuck at a funeral and still see the up to the minute live score of your fantasy football game. An industry is born, and life hasn't been the same since.
#5. HDTV. Technically the technology's been around forever, but this is the decade where demand met supply and we're all better off for it. I can't remember what football used to look like in SD. And I never knew how unattractive some people really were.
#4. NETFLIX. Racket: Broken. No more late fees. No more drives to the rental place only to find there's nothing there. Instead, you select your movie at your convenience with full previews and reviews at your disposal and it shows up in your mailbox. If you watch 3 movies per month, it pays for itself and thats assuming you never paid late charges. Basically free and with an extremely impressive list of titles to chose from, Netflix's contribution to The History of Man can not be understated.
#3. FACEBOOK. Remember that strange kid in high school that smelled like boiled turnips, sat to your right in biology and you never said a word to him? Well it's 15 years later, you've still never said a word to him, yet you know that his two year old has an ear infection and he just got an oil change. Wanna "become a fan of doing a chick in a football jersey"? Want to buy imaginary pigs? Want to make a quiz about yourself? Wanna spend the month of December offering your opinion on everything you remember from the previous decade? Are you extremely interested in the life of toddlers? Are you a stalker? Facebook's your place.
#2. THE DVR. Think back 10 years. If you watched TV you were a slave. A slave to commercials. A slave to time slots. A slave to the network's decision to use instant replay. Not anymore. The DVR/TiVo has revolutionized the way we watch television. For next to nothing per month, you get to decide when you want to watch something. You get to skip through commercials. You can rewind live television when you miss something because the phone rang, the dog barked, the girl scouts knocked on your door, you got a sudden case of dysentery or any reason whatsoever. Best of all, you can rock two shows at the same time. No longer must you chose when you're favorite show gets lined up against something else. And when you catch Dudley getting molested at the Bicycle Shop on the TV Land "Diff'rent Strokes" marathon, you can keep it forever. I don't really remember television without the DVR. And I don't want to.
#1. THE IPOD. I'll admit it. I was a flat-earther when I first learned of the iPod. "That sounds like an awful lot of work", or "Why do I need that when I have a CD player in my car?" I couldn't have been more wrong. I spent my entire music-listening life making mixed tapes, and then briefly, mixed CDs. Restricted by what I physically had in my collection, and limited to 45 minutes per side/80 MB per tape. The iPod freed me from that. When I wanted to hear a specific song, I had to dig through everything, find it, stop the current tape/disc, put in a new one, cue it up. That now takes less than 5 seconds. From anywhere in my house. Before I got in the car, I would have to chose what music I wanted for the journey. Not anymore. When I went for a walk, or took a plane, I had to make sure I had enough batteries and decide before packing what I wanted to hear. Those days are over.
If I ever wanted to watch the Greatest Super Bowl in the History of Super Bowls, I had to buy a DVD and be on my couch. Now, I have Bob Papa calling "Manning to Tyree" in my pocket. Every picture I own is with me 24 hours a day. I can play games on the toilet. I don't have to go looking for the Christmas music ever November or the St Patrick's Day music ever January. I'm reminded of the biblical verse where, upon Christ's death following the Crucifixion, one of the Roman Centurions standing guard said to his fellow guard: Clearly This Was The Son Of Man.
Sums up my reaction about 10 minutes after finally giving in and purchasing one.
Showing posts with label The 00s. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The 00s. Show all posts
Friday, December 18, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
My Top 100 Movies of the Decade
Obviously it's a borderline impossible task to intertwine different genres of movies into one massive countdown. I did my best to line up a film based off where it stands within it's genre or subdivision and tried to rank accordingly. My basic criteria was: How much did I like it. Actually, that was my only criteria, prevented me from going crazy you know? Special thanks to Netflix and my overall lack of energy for their massive contribution to this list...
100. RED DRAGON – Original Lechter. Good shit.
99. STATE OF PLAY – Love me a good political thriller
98. COLD MOUNTAIN – Renee Zelwegger at her ugliest. No small feat.
97. THE PATRIOT – Bravehart, only set in South Carolina.
96. MEAN GIRLS – The first hint of Tina Fey’s genius
95. THE OTHERS – And I’ve hit my Nicole Kidman quota.
94. DISTURBIA – Surprisingly good, had extremely low expectations
93. SHREK – Only animated film I saw all decade. Had its moments.
92. A BEAUTIFUL MIND – Overhyped tremendously but quality nonetheless
91. ACROSS THE UNIVERSE – Tells the stories of the late 60s as sung by the Beatles. Duh.
90. EASTERN PROMISES – Unique, engaging, twisted. Great formula.
89. UNBREAKABLE – Before M. Night Shamilan went to shit
88. THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU – Top notch dry humor.
87. THE RING – Gotta respect a quality horror flick
86. WE WERE SOLDIERS – Before Mel went off the deep end, covers a period of the Vietnam War often overlooked. Bonus points for being the first movie I saw at a drive in, in the serial killer area of northern California.
85. ABOUT SCHMIDT – Yeah, nothing really to add
84. PINEAPPLE EXPRESS – Gets better with each viewing
83. MASTER AND COMMANDER – Darwin. Respect.
82. IDIOCRACY – You got it or you didn’t. If you didn’t, you proved its point.
81. WE ARE MARSHALL – Most “based on a true story” movies blow. This one didn’t.
80. GI JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA – Ain’t afraid to admit it, I thoroughly enjoyed this throwback.
79. ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGANDY – Eminently quotable. Whale’s Vagina.
78. BAD SANTA – Tis the season to laugh your friggin ass off.
77. CINDERALLA MAN – Why are boxing movies so easy to do right?
76. SYRIANNA – What a wonderful world we live in.
75. MIRACLE – Like “We Are Marshall” only better cause Soviets are involved.
74. THE GOOD GIRL – Unheralded but probably John C Reilly’s best work ever.
73. THE KINGDOM – I’m glad I never held hands with a Saudi Prince
72. CAPOTE – PSH at his best.
71. BLOOD DIAMOND – Kind of a disappointment based off cast/premise. But a good watch anyway.
70. BEST IN SHOW – I will NEVER tire of Christopher Guest movies. Never.
69. STAR WARS: EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES - I always have a hell of a time ranking a SW movie. Empire it wasn’t, but it was sure better than Menace.
68. I AM SAM - Sean Penn plays an austic man who likes ponies and the Beatles. Oscars for all!
67. ENEMY AT THE GATES – Soviets, Nazis, snipers. Only missing midgets.
66. MINORITY REPORT - Personally think Tom Cruise only had like 3 great roles: A Few Good Men, Born on the 4th of July, and this.
65. GOODNIGHT AND GOOD LUCK - Dry and bland but tells a great story and captures the time perfectly.
64. VERONICA GUERIN - Irish. Sold.
63. NATIONAL TREASURE - A guilty pleasure that I’ve enjoyed thoroughly through many airings on TNT or USA.
62. BATMAN BEGINS - Finally broke the funk of bad and predictable comic book movies.
61. AMERICAN PSYCHO - The part Christian Bale was born to play. Literally.
60. DOUBT - An absolutely shitty ending knocks this otherwise incredible film down about 50 spots.
59. ANGELS AND DEMONS – Perfect cast, perfect adaptation.
58. TROPIC THUNDER – Did not expect to laugh as much as I did.
57. A MIGHT WIND – E A Oe’s. Another Chris Guest classic.
56. MONSTERS BALL – One hot woman with issues.
55. RESCUE DAWN – Another incredible performance by Christopher Bale and Steve Zahn shows a side you’d never have thought possible.
54. DODGEBALL – I found it funnier than most.
53. FOG OF WAR – Stunning McNamara memoir.
52. AMERICAN GANGSTER – Makes me wonder why I never heard of Frank Lucas before this film. By the end, you’d have thought he was Al Capone.
51. OCEANS ELEVEN – A lotta remakes suck. This didn’t. Thoroughly entertaining. I don’t care how low you set the bar.
50. ANGELS IN AMERICA – Technically a mini-series but whatever, my list, my rules. Pacino’s finest work in ages as Roy Cohn.
49. A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE – Mind-bending.
48. EUROTRIP – Don’t even think the director would rank it this high but making a great “bad movie” is an art form.
47. SAVED! – Little know film makes a mockery of evangelical hypocrisy. Don’t take much more than that to make me happy.
46. THE QUEEN – Pisses on the house of Windsor. Score!
45. KNOCKED UP – So THAT’S how you get Pink Eye.
44. RENDITION – This is why the Constitution matters folks.
43. RELIGOULOUS – With George Carlin having left us, Bill Maher is my new spiritual guru.
42. BORAT – Disturbing, gross, offensive, hysterical.
41. FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL – Moves up 5 notches every time I see it.
40. THE STRANGERS – A great thriller. On the edge of your seat 5 minutes in and you’re there all the way through. The most disturbing part is probably the final quote. “Because you were home”.
39. BIG FISH – A bit cheesy but one of those movies you think about for days and days after you see it.
38. THE GOOD SHEPPARD – Over 3 hours long, but a great retelling about the formation of the CIA and the intelligence aftermath of the Bay of Pigs.
37. RAY – A perfectly cast, well produced biopic.
36. GARDEN STATE – From underrated to overrated and back again, settles nicely around the 36th percentile.
35. THANK YOU FOR SMOKING – You’re quite welcome.
34. SLUMDOG MILLIONARE – Was never going to meet the hype and expectation, but it was a fascinating tale nonetheless.
33. 61* - Thomas Jane’s Mickey Mantle was one of the best played roles I’ve ever seen.
32. SIGNS – M Night’s last hurrah before finally going down the crapper.
31. OLD SCHOOL – Possibly the funniest cast of the decade, Frank the Tank’s “Streaking” Moment might be one of the 5 funniest of these 10 years.
30. THE WRESTLER – I still can’t believe that was Mickey Rourke. Gotta respect 2 people doing shots and listening to Ratt in the middle of the afternoon.
29. IN BRUGES – 180 degrees different than what I was expecting, makes you appreciate films free from the Hollywood constrictions for story arcs. Also, Dwarves. Racist Dwarves with coke problems!
28. CRASH – Clever, intelligent and thought provoking.
27. LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE – Over the top a bit, but very well done.
26. RAT RACE – Christ, my ribs were hurting after watching this, laughed non-stop for the entire movie. Highlighted by the trip to the Barbie Museum.
25. THE WACKNESS – I forgive it for making 1994 seem like it was 40 years ago, this little known Ben Kingsley movie was shockingly good.
24. FAHRENHEIT 9/11 – Really, do I need to explain why I loved this?
23. ROAD TO PERDITION – Outside of Forrest Gump, possibly Tom Hanks’ best work.
22. THE WIND THAT SHAKES THE BARLEY – Tragic tale of the Irish Civil War. Done very well.
21. HOTEL RWANDA – Finally, Don Cheadle was no longer “That Guy from the Golden Girls Spin-Off”
20. IN AMERICA – Classic story about immigrant life, the decades may change but the fundamentals never do.
19. MAGDELENE SISTERS – Anyone else find it ironic that there’s likely a very special room in hell for Nuns?
18. MOTORCYCLE DIARIES – I hate subtitles but the highest compliment I can pay a subtitled film is that you didn’t notice them. Fascinating tale about the early life of Che Guevera (the dude with the Star beret on red T-Shirts that the kids wear). Also the last movie I saw at The Rialto Theater in RP. Pour Some Out.
17. WALK THE LINE – I don’t care if it was “Ray For White People”, it was done better, and cast just as well. Reese Witherspoon’s “June Carter Cash” might be the surprise performance of the decade.
16. 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN – A role that couldn’t be played by anyone other than Steve Carrell.
15. ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND – Extremely interesting premise, and Jim Carrey’s least annoying role since ever.
14. FROST/NIXON – Well cast, well produced and with an incredibly authentic feel. A bit dry but if you love politics and history that obviously doesn’t bother you.
13. SUPERBAD – Coming of Age Done Right. My ribs were sore for days after seeing it for the first time. McLovin enters the Pantheon.
12. THE DEPARTED – Odd that Scorcese finally won the Oscar for this but that’s besides the point. Jack and Damon carry a ridiculously impressive cast in an unpredictable and bloody masterpiece.
11. THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS – You either love it or hate it. I’m with the former. Not exactly action packed or fast moving at all but a deeper “dramedy” that’ll have you thinking about it for days.
10. O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU – Why suffer through 600 pages of Homer’s “Odyssey” when you can watch the Cohen Brothers’ interpretation, set in the depression era South, in a little more than 2 hours. A vision you could only expect from them, the clever dialogue and adventurous journey ranks right there with the best of their work.
9. THE DARK KNIGHT – Throw out the fact that Heath Ledger died before its release, naturally over-hyping the movie and the reviews. This movie is THAT good, and Ledger’s role is THAT impressive. Can’t quite say the late brokebacker carried the movie, not with the performance that Christian Bale turned in, but he did what I thought was impossible: Out-Jokered Nicholson’s Joker.
8. THE HANGOVER – There’s got to be a spot in the top 10 for the best slapstick comedy of the decade, right? Instantaneously, The Hangover enters the Comedy Hall of Fame on a level with “American Pie” and “Dumb and Dumber”. With the release of the DVD just in time for the holidays, expect to hear a lot more about Tigers loving Pepper and how Rainman was “A Ra Tard”.
7. MYSTIC RIVER – Deep, sick, and an impressive cast of characters. Sleepers with a Southie twist and Tim Robbins’ finest work since Bull Durham.
6. JUNO – It’s like “For Keeps” only with a better cast, better dialogue, better soundtrack, better looking expecting mom, better storyline, more realistic and a better overall movie. Any movie that can cast Vern Schillinger as a sympathetic working class father doing his best to help his pregnant teenage daughter is worthy of all the accolades and praise that comes his way.
5. “V” FOR VENDETTA. And thus begins the Natalie Portman portion of the top 10. A movie you’ll either get or hate, this adaptation of an old comic book was nothing short of captivating. Part 1984, Part Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Part Red Dawn.
4. STAR WARS: EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH. Yeah it’s a bias pick. Whatever. Sith had the unenviable task of wrapping up the first trilogy and setting the scene for the original, more beloved trilogy and it exceeded all expectations. Seeing the rise/birth of Darth Vader on screen after 30 years was a treat for all moviegoers, SW Heads or not. And it kept to most sacred formula of all Star Wars films: Make sure the acting kind of sucks.
3. MILK. Tells a tale that needs to be told. Harvey Milk was a genuine American martyr and almost nobody had heard his name before this movie was released. Imagine that being the case with other American icons, be it Susan B Anthony or Martin Luther King? But simply retelling a story doesn’t make a movie great. Sean Penn delivered the performance of a lifetime and James Brolin turned in a solid one as well. The movie blended actual footage from the time into its cut production more seamlessly than any film before hand. Tremendous production, an all time great film.
2. ALMOST FAMOUS. While it has the best soundtrack of the decade, Almost Famous doesn’t get nearly as much credit as it deserves. Possibly the greatest Rock’N Roll movie ever, it’s completely rewatchable, stands the test of time, extremely quotable, and has women traded for beer. What’s not to love? Bonus points for PSH’s “Lester Bangs”, arguably one of the most interesting movie characters of the decade.
1. GANGS OF NEW YORK. I find nothing more fascinating than the history of New York City. How did this new world trading post grow to become indisputably the greatest city in the history of mankind? Why New York and not Boston or Philadelphia or Richmond? Who were the people that built this metropolis? Gangs covers (while taking some historical liberties) one of the more interesting eras in New York history (and lets face it, they’re all interesting). More of a composite than a rundown of actual events, Martin Scorcese does an impeccable job of capturing the mood and culture of both the “Natvie” Americans (as in, immigrants who’ve been ashore since the Revolution) and the more recent wave of predominantly Irish immigrants, who were arriving in lower Manhattan in droves in the mid-nineteenth century. It’s a story of their backbone, it’s a story of how they built the City and it’s a story of how they stuck together through thick and thin. With a cast anchored by Leo DiCaprio and the untouchable Daniel Day Lewis, Gangs of New York is Marty Scorcese’s finest hour, and the best movie of the 2000s.
100. RED DRAGON – Original Lechter. Good shit.
99. STATE OF PLAY – Love me a good political thriller
98. COLD MOUNTAIN – Renee Zelwegger at her ugliest. No small feat.
97. THE PATRIOT – Bravehart, only set in South Carolina.
96. MEAN GIRLS – The first hint of Tina Fey’s genius
95. THE OTHERS – And I’ve hit my Nicole Kidman quota.
94. DISTURBIA – Surprisingly good, had extremely low expectations
93. SHREK – Only animated film I saw all decade. Had its moments.
92. A BEAUTIFUL MIND – Overhyped tremendously but quality nonetheless
91. ACROSS THE UNIVERSE – Tells the stories of the late 60s as sung by the Beatles. Duh.
90. EASTERN PROMISES – Unique, engaging, twisted. Great formula.
89. UNBREAKABLE – Before M. Night Shamilan went to shit
88. THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU – Top notch dry humor.
87. THE RING – Gotta respect a quality horror flick
86. WE WERE SOLDIERS – Before Mel went off the deep end, covers a period of the Vietnam War often overlooked. Bonus points for being the first movie I saw at a drive in, in the serial killer area of northern California.
85. ABOUT SCHMIDT – Yeah, nothing really to add
84. PINEAPPLE EXPRESS – Gets better with each viewing
83. MASTER AND COMMANDER – Darwin. Respect.
82. IDIOCRACY – You got it or you didn’t. If you didn’t, you proved its point.
81. WE ARE MARSHALL – Most “based on a true story” movies blow. This one didn’t.
80. GI JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA – Ain’t afraid to admit it, I thoroughly enjoyed this throwback.
79. ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGANDY – Eminently quotable. Whale’s Vagina.
78. BAD SANTA – Tis the season to laugh your friggin ass off.
77. CINDERALLA MAN – Why are boxing movies so easy to do right?
76. SYRIANNA – What a wonderful world we live in.
75. MIRACLE – Like “We Are Marshall” only better cause Soviets are involved.
74. THE GOOD GIRL – Unheralded but probably John C Reilly’s best work ever.
73. THE KINGDOM – I’m glad I never held hands with a Saudi Prince
72. CAPOTE – PSH at his best.
71. BLOOD DIAMOND – Kind of a disappointment based off cast/premise. But a good watch anyway.
70. BEST IN SHOW – I will NEVER tire of Christopher Guest movies. Never.
69. STAR WARS: EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES - I always have a hell of a time ranking a SW movie. Empire it wasn’t, but it was sure better than Menace.
68. I AM SAM - Sean Penn plays an austic man who likes ponies and the Beatles. Oscars for all!
67. ENEMY AT THE GATES – Soviets, Nazis, snipers. Only missing midgets.
66. MINORITY REPORT - Personally think Tom Cruise only had like 3 great roles: A Few Good Men, Born on the 4th of July, and this.
65. GOODNIGHT AND GOOD LUCK - Dry and bland but tells a great story and captures the time perfectly.
64. VERONICA GUERIN - Irish. Sold.
63. NATIONAL TREASURE - A guilty pleasure that I’ve enjoyed thoroughly through many airings on TNT or USA.
62. BATMAN BEGINS - Finally broke the funk of bad and predictable comic book movies.
61. AMERICAN PSYCHO - The part Christian Bale was born to play. Literally.
60. DOUBT - An absolutely shitty ending knocks this otherwise incredible film down about 50 spots.
59. ANGELS AND DEMONS – Perfect cast, perfect adaptation.
58. TROPIC THUNDER – Did not expect to laugh as much as I did.
57. A MIGHT WIND – E A Oe’s. Another Chris Guest classic.
56. MONSTERS BALL – One hot woman with issues.
55. RESCUE DAWN – Another incredible performance by Christopher Bale and Steve Zahn shows a side you’d never have thought possible.
54. DODGEBALL – I found it funnier than most.
53. FOG OF WAR – Stunning McNamara memoir.
52. AMERICAN GANGSTER – Makes me wonder why I never heard of Frank Lucas before this film. By the end, you’d have thought he was Al Capone.
51. OCEANS ELEVEN – A lotta remakes suck. This didn’t. Thoroughly entertaining. I don’t care how low you set the bar.
50. ANGELS IN AMERICA – Technically a mini-series but whatever, my list, my rules. Pacino’s finest work in ages as Roy Cohn.
49. A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE – Mind-bending.
48. EUROTRIP – Don’t even think the director would rank it this high but making a great “bad movie” is an art form.
47. SAVED! – Little know film makes a mockery of evangelical hypocrisy. Don’t take much more than that to make me happy.
46. THE QUEEN – Pisses on the house of Windsor. Score!
45. KNOCKED UP – So THAT’S how you get Pink Eye.
44. RENDITION – This is why the Constitution matters folks.
43. RELIGOULOUS – With George Carlin having left us, Bill Maher is my new spiritual guru.
42. BORAT – Disturbing, gross, offensive, hysterical.
41. FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL – Moves up 5 notches every time I see it.
40. THE STRANGERS – A great thriller. On the edge of your seat 5 minutes in and you’re there all the way through. The most disturbing part is probably the final quote. “Because you were home”.
39. BIG FISH – A bit cheesy but one of those movies you think about for days and days after you see it.
38. THE GOOD SHEPPARD – Over 3 hours long, but a great retelling about the formation of the CIA and the intelligence aftermath of the Bay of Pigs.
37. RAY – A perfectly cast, well produced biopic.
36. GARDEN STATE – From underrated to overrated and back again, settles nicely around the 36th percentile.
35. THANK YOU FOR SMOKING – You’re quite welcome.
34. SLUMDOG MILLIONARE – Was never going to meet the hype and expectation, but it was a fascinating tale nonetheless.
33. 61* - Thomas Jane’s Mickey Mantle was one of the best played roles I’ve ever seen.
32. SIGNS – M Night’s last hurrah before finally going down the crapper.
31. OLD SCHOOL – Possibly the funniest cast of the decade, Frank the Tank’s “Streaking” Moment might be one of the 5 funniest of these 10 years.
30. THE WRESTLER – I still can’t believe that was Mickey Rourke. Gotta respect 2 people doing shots and listening to Ratt in the middle of the afternoon.
29. IN BRUGES – 180 degrees different than what I was expecting, makes you appreciate films free from the Hollywood constrictions for story arcs. Also, Dwarves. Racist Dwarves with coke problems!
28. CRASH – Clever, intelligent and thought provoking.
27. LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE – Over the top a bit, but very well done.
26. RAT RACE – Christ, my ribs were hurting after watching this, laughed non-stop for the entire movie. Highlighted by the trip to the Barbie Museum.
25. THE WACKNESS – I forgive it for making 1994 seem like it was 40 years ago, this little known Ben Kingsley movie was shockingly good.
24. FAHRENHEIT 9/11 – Really, do I need to explain why I loved this?
23. ROAD TO PERDITION – Outside of Forrest Gump, possibly Tom Hanks’ best work.
22. THE WIND THAT SHAKES THE BARLEY – Tragic tale of the Irish Civil War. Done very well.
21. HOTEL RWANDA – Finally, Don Cheadle was no longer “That Guy from the Golden Girls Spin-Off”
20. IN AMERICA – Classic story about immigrant life, the decades may change but the fundamentals never do.
19. MAGDELENE SISTERS – Anyone else find it ironic that there’s likely a very special room in hell for Nuns?
18. MOTORCYCLE DIARIES – I hate subtitles but the highest compliment I can pay a subtitled film is that you didn’t notice them. Fascinating tale about the early life of Che Guevera (the dude with the Star beret on red T-Shirts that the kids wear). Also the last movie I saw at The Rialto Theater in RP. Pour Some Out.
17. WALK THE LINE – I don’t care if it was “Ray For White People”, it was done better, and cast just as well. Reese Witherspoon’s “June Carter Cash” might be the surprise performance of the decade.
16. 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN – A role that couldn’t be played by anyone other than Steve Carrell.
15. ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND – Extremely interesting premise, and Jim Carrey’s least annoying role since ever.
14. FROST/NIXON – Well cast, well produced and with an incredibly authentic feel. A bit dry but if you love politics and history that obviously doesn’t bother you.
13. SUPERBAD – Coming of Age Done Right. My ribs were sore for days after seeing it for the first time. McLovin enters the Pantheon.
12. THE DEPARTED – Odd that Scorcese finally won the Oscar for this but that’s besides the point. Jack and Damon carry a ridiculously impressive cast in an unpredictable and bloody masterpiece.
11. THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS – You either love it or hate it. I’m with the former. Not exactly action packed or fast moving at all but a deeper “dramedy” that’ll have you thinking about it for days.
10. O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU – Why suffer through 600 pages of Homer’s “Odyssey” when you can watch the Cohen Brothers’ interpretation, set in the depression era South, in a little more than 2 hours. A vision you could only expect from them, the clever dialogue and adventurous journey ranks right there with the best of their work.
9. THE DARK KNIGHT – Throw out the fact that Heath Ledger died before its release, naturally over-hyping the movie and the reviews. This movie is THAT good, and Ledger’s role is THAT impressive. Can’t quite say the late brokebacker carried the movie, not with the performance that Christian Bale turned in, but he did what I thought was impossible: Out-Jokered Nicholson’s Joker.
8. THE HANGOVER – There’s got to be a spot in the top 10 for the best slapstick comedy of the decade, right? Instantaneously, The Hangover enters the Comedy Hall of Fame on a level with “American Pie” and “Dumb and Dumber”. With the release of the DVD just in time for the holidays, expect to hear a lot more about Tigers loving Pepper and how Rainman was “A Ra Tard”.
7. MYSTIC RIVER – Deep, sick, and an impressive cast of characters. Sleepers with a Southie twist and Tim Robbins’ finest work since Bull Durham.
6. JUNO – It’s like “For Keeps” only with a better cast, better dialogue, better soundtrack, better looking expecting mom, better storyline, more realistic and a better overall movie. Any movie that can cast Vern Schillinger as a sympathetic working class father doing his best to help his pregnant teenage daughter is worthy of all the accolades and praise that comes his way.
5. “V” FOR VENDETTA. And thus begins the Natalie Portman portion of the top 10. A movie you’ll either get or hate, this adaptation of an old comic book was nothing short of captivating. Part 1984, Part Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Part Red Dawn.
4. STAR WARS: EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH. Yeah it’s a bias pick. Whatever. Sith had the unenviable task of wrapping up the first trilogy and setting the scene for the original, more beloved trilogy and it exceeded all expectations. Seeing the rise/birth of Darth Vader on screen after 30 years was a treat for all moviegoers, SW Heads or not. And it kept to most sacred formula of all Star Wars films: Make sure the acting kind of sucks.
3. MILK. Tells a tale that needs to be told. Harvey Milk was a genuine American martyr and almost nobody had heard his name before this movie was released. Imagine that being the case with other American icons, be it Susan B Anthony or Martin Luther King? But simply retelling a story doesn’t make a movie great. Sean Penn delivered the performance of a lifetime and James Brolin turned in a solid one as well. The movie blended actual footage from the time into its cut production more seamlessly than any film before hand. Tremendous production, an all time great film.
2. ALMOST FAMOUS. While it has the best soundtrack of the decade, Almost Famous doesn’t get nearly as much credit as it deserves. Possibly the greatest Rock’N Roll movie ever, it’s completely rewatchable, stands the test of time, extremely quotable, and has women traded for beer. What’s not to love? Bonus points for PSH’s “Lester Bangs”, arguably one of the most interesting movie characters of the decade.
1. GANGS OF NEW YORK. I find nothing more fascinating than the history of New York City. How did this new world trading post grow to become indisputably the greatest city in the history of mankind? Why New York and not Boston or Philadelphia or Richmond? Who were the people that built this metropolis? Gangs covers (while taking some historical liberties) one of the more interesting eras in New York history (and lets face it, they’re all interesting). More of a composite than a rundown of actual events, Martin Scorcese does an impeccable job of capturing the mood and culture of both the “Natvie” Americans (as in, immigrants who’ve been ashore since the Revolution) and the more recent wave of predominantly Irish immigrants, who were arriving in lower Manhattan in droves in the mid-nineteenth century. It’s a story of their backbone, it’s a story of how they built the City and it’s a story of how they stuck together through thick and thin. With a cast anchored by Leo DiCaprio and the untouchable Daniel Day Lewis, Gangs of New York is Marty Scorcese’s finest hour, and the best movie of the 2000s.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Top 20 TV Shows of the Decade: #10 - #6
The top 5 are extremely close, but these five were the hardest of all to seperate for me. I thoroughly enjoyed each and every one of these shows, and still do for the ones that we're lucky enough to still get new material from...
#10. ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. If you want to sum up the state of the American Intellect with one fact, it’s that American Idol became a runaway ratings bonanza while Arrested Development could only muster up about 37 people a week to tune in. Luckily for me, I think I know about 23 of those 37 people. While many shows have followed suit, AD was the one of the first to abandon the laugh track and go documentary/single camera POV style. And if you go back now and watch a show with a laugh track it seems so contrived and forced, a stunning development coming just as the sitcom was saying goodbye to Friends, Frazier, Seinfeld and everything else that used to make NBC not a laughing stock.
#9. LOST. Nobody hates Lost more than the people who love it. But no show in television history has ever inspired so much chatter and speculation as this island mystery. Not it’s ancestors “Twin Peaks” or “The X-Files”. Not it’s rip-offs like “Fringe”. From the minute we saw the polar bear or heard the island monster, every scene, every character, every detail has been overanalyzed and broken down to whatever conclusion you’d prefer to assign to it. I think the defining moment of the show came off-camera. After Season 3 the network and staff decided to give the show a finite end date (Spring 2010 season) which in retrospect was absolutely brilliant. Free from concern over ratings or dangling just enough info to keep people tuning in each week or each season, the writers charted a time specific course to bring the show to it’s long awaited conclusion. Some people have been disappointed with the direction the show has taken – yet they still tune in on a weekly basis. Which means Lost is still doing its job.
#8. 30 ROCK. I’ll say it right now: Liz Lemon is the best lead female character in television history. Now that that’s out of the way, if you’re not watching 30 Rock every week, you’re living a deprived life. Every character is so integral and perfectly cast that you’re really not going to be left disappointed on a weekly basis. The satirical commentary on Fortune 100 Executive life, portrayed through Alec Baldwin’s Jack Donaghee is one of the greater signs of the times this decade. Tracy Morgan’s Tracy Jordan (do I have that right?) is possibly the funniest character on TV. Just last night he let us know that reason Catholics can’t eat meat on Friday is because the Pope owns Long John Silver. And that might not even be one of his 20 funniest moments in 4 seasons or so.
#7. FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS. The television graveyard has its share of shows that attempted to tap into the American obsession with sports. Most are forgettable, few make it past mid-season (“Coach” is the only show I can recall with some success). But FNL finally got it right. The reality of the show is, football is just a very small part of the action. However, it serves as the launching pad for everything else on the program, and in a more macro sense, in life. My first reaction to the program was great, it’s going to be 90210 with jocks and cheerleaders, thanks but I’ll pass I couldn’t have been more wrong. I’m eternally grateful that I watched beyond the first episode - where the star QB heading to Notre Dame becomes paralyzed, seemingly right out of the Official Cliché Playbook.
And while some storylines seem a tad bit over-the-top, at its absolute core, the show is a genuine tale of the American livelihood. Sure, it’s Texas-centric but remove the cowboy hats and television coverage of high school athletics and the struggles and relationships can be found in any old American town. The ultimate irony is, a show which my first impressions pointed me towards believing it was a run-of-the-mill typical high school “drama” turned out to be completely incomparable to anything else on television. And a big shout-out to Buddy Garrity – one of the more uniquely entertaining characters on screen.
#6. THE OFFICE. I have to admit how close this batch of shows from #10 down to #6 really was. Some are similar, some are unique, but I love them all. The deciding factor for me was to take a breath, step back, and ask myself “How much do I look forward to seeing X”. And in the narrowest of decisions, The Office wins. While it’s hard to call an adaptation of a foreign program “Original”, The Office hit a homerun in conveying the last frontier of American Life on television: mundane cubicle white collar work. We’ve covered the changing family dynamic from “Leave it to Beaver” to “Modern Family”. We’ve done the Blue Collar thing over and over again, be it “Taxi” or “Roseanne”. We’ve been to the inner city, suburbs and tax brackets we can only dream of. But a large segment of the population works in a boring, repetitive office and “The Office” exploits the ridiculous nature of the humdrum work day in a manner that millions of Americans can relate to.
Not every boss is Michael Scott per say, with his questionable decision making and apparent intellectual defect. But most people probably think that they, like the cast, are eminently more qualified for the leadership position than their boss is. One could spend hours recapping the funniest moments of the series on an episode-by-episode basis, but that’s not what makes “The Office” great. No, what makes it great is its ability to hit home for millions of Americans across all lines: gender, orientation, race, ethnicity, education and values. If you haven’t tuned in it’s your loss.
You HAVE to see this.
Thats what she said.
#10. ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. If you want to sum up the state of the American Intellect with one fact, it’s that American Idol became a runaway ratings bonanza while Arrested Development could only muster up about 37 people a week to tune in. Luckily for me, I think I know about 23 of those 37 people. While many shows have followed suit, AD was the one of the first to abandon the laugh track and go documentary/single camera POV style. And if you go back now and watch a show with a laugh track it seems so contrived and forced, a stunning development coming just as the sitcom was saying goodbye to Friends, Frazier, Seinfeld and everything else that used to make NBC not a laughing stock.
#9. LOST. Nobody hates Lost more than the people who love it. But no show in television history has ever inspired so much chatter and speculation as this island mystery. Not it’s ancestors “Twin Peaks” or “The X-Files”. Not it’s rip-offs like “Fringe”. From the minute we saw the polar bear or heard the island monster, every scene, every character, every detail has been overanalyzed and broken down to whatever conclusion you’d prefer to assign to it. I think the defining moment of the show came off-camera. After Season 3 the network and staff decided to give the show a finite end date (Spring 2010 season) which in retrospect was absolutely brilliant. Free from concern over ratings or dangling just enough info to keep people tuning in each week or each season, the writers charted a time specific course to bring the show to it’s long awaited conclusion. Some people have been disappointed with the direction the show has taken – yet they still tune in on a weekly basis. Which means Lost is still doing its job.
#8. 30 ROCK. I’ll say it right now: Liz Lemon is the best lead female character in television history. Now that that’s out of the way, if you’re not watching 30 Rock every week, you’re living a deprived life. Every character is so integral and perfectly cast that you’re really not going to be left disappointed on a weekly basis. The satirical commentary on Fortune 100 Executive life, portrayed through Alec Baldwin’s Jack Donaghee is one of the greater signs of the times this decade. Tracy Morgan’s Tracy Jordan (do I have that right?) is possibly the funniest character on TV. Just last night he let us know that reason Catholics can’t eat meat on Friday is because the Pope owns Long John Silver. And that might not even be one of his 20 funniest moments in 4 seasons or so.
#7. FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS. The television graveyard has its share of shows that attempted to tap into the American obsession with sports. Most are forgettable, few make it past mid-season (“Coach” is the only show I can recall with some success). But FNL finally got it right. The reality of the show is, football is just a very small part of the action. However, it serves as the launching pad for everything else on the program, and in a more macro sense, in life. My first reaction to the program was great, it’s going to be 90210 with jocks and cheerleaders, thanks but I’ll pass I couldn’t have been more wrong. I’m eternally grateful that I watched beyond the first episode - where the star QB heading to Notre Dame becomes paralyzed, seemingly right out of the Official Cliché Playbook.
And while some storylines seem a tad bit over-the-top, at its absolute core, the show is a genuine tale of the American livelihood. Sure, it’s Texas-centric but remove the cowboy hats and television coverage of high school athletics and the struggles and relationships can be found in any old American town. The ultimate irony is, a show which my first impressions pointed me towards believing it was a run-of-the-mill typical high school “drama” turned out to be completely incomparable to anything else on television. And a big shout-out to Buddy Garrity – one of the more uniquely entertaining characters on screen.
#6. THE OFFICE. I have to admit how close this batch of shows from #10 down to #6 really was. Some are similar, some are unique, but I love them all. The deciding factor for me was to take a breath, step back, and ask myself “How much do I look forward to seeing X”. And in the narrowest of decisions, The Office wins. While it’s hard to call an adaptation of a foreign program “Original”, The Office hit a homerun in conveying the last frontier of American Life on television: mundane cubicle white collar work. We’ve covered the changing family dynamic from “Leave it to Beaver” to “Modern Family”. We’ve done the Blue Collar thing over and over again, be it “Taxi” or “Roseanne”. We’ve been to the inner city, suburbs and tax brackets we can only dream of. But a large segment of the population works in a boring, repetitive office and “The Office” exploits the ridiculous nature of the humdrum work day in a manner that millions of Americans can relate to.
Not every boss is Michael Scott per say, with his questionable decision making and apparent intellectual defect. But most people probably think that they, like the cast, are eminently more qualified for the leadership position than their boss is. One could spend hours recapping the funniest moments of the series on an episode-by-episode basis, but that’s not what makes “The Office” great. No, what makes it great is its ability to hit home for millions of Americans across all lines: gender, orientation, race, ethnicity, education and values. If you haven’t tuned in it’s your loss.
You HAVE to see this.
Thats what she said.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Top 20 TV Shows of the Decade: #15 - #11
#15. HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. By reading the concept, it sounds pretty weak and lame. But catching on a weekly basis? This show is brilliant: Take your standard weekly sitcom and add the serial nature of a "quest" which seems to be all the rage these days. A slightly more realistic version of “Friends”, I admit there’s probably some bias because the main cast of characters are of the same age as me so in terms of flashbacks and experiences, I get it. Still, featuring a Canadian is always a plus, and the contributions to popular culture have been outstanding: Awesomeness, Slap Bets, Suit Up, The Hot/Crazy Scale, Woo-Girls, Legen…wait for it…Dary. Also, without HIMYM the rest of us wouldn't be aware that Canadians are afraid of the dark.
#14. CRIMINAL MINDS. Any doubts about this show were squelched with the shocking 100th Episode 2 weeks ago. Can’t quite call it original – crime procedurals have been around since TV was invented. But the subject matter and methodology separate this from the flotsam and jetsam like CSI: Dumont, NCIS and Law and Order: Building Permits Bureau Enforcement. Can’t tell you how many times someone said to me “Did you see Criminal Minds last week? It gave me nightmares”. Side note after last night: It was pretty messed up that Gideon didn’t go to the funeral.
#13. DEADWOOD. Al Swearengen might have been the best anti-hero of the decade and the first two seasons were among the best of any HBO Show. But the lackluster directionless wind down of the show left a pretty sour taste. All that being said, it’s not easy to make a Western/Frontier interesting these days. As a culture we’ve kind of outgrown it. That didn’t stop Deadwood though. Probably responsible for the greatest quote of the decade: “Won’t You Let Me Go To Hell the way I want to?”
#12. CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM. There’s two questions about my likes and dislikes that I’ve heard hundreds of times. First is “How can you love Bill Clinton and hate Hillary Clinton?” The second: “How can you hate Seinfeld and love Curb Your Enthusiasm?” The answer to both is simple: Cause I do. I don’t think I laughed as hard at a television show ever as I did when LD’s obituary for Cheryl’s “Beloved Aunt” had a typo replacing the “A” with a “C”.
#11. SCRUBS. The show that just won’t die. 2 cancellations, a few extended hiatuses, and a network switch, yet it’s still kicking and is one of the longest running shows on television now. Some of the characters can be annoying at times, but the balance between severity and hilarity is perfectly stricken. With characters like Bob Kelso, Perry Cox, and of course, Jan I Tor, rarely does Scrubs swing and miss. Not since Webster were we so graciously taught a new life lesson on a weekly basis.
#14. CRIMINAL MINDS. Any doubts about this show were squelched with the shocking 100th Episode 2 weeks ago. Can’t quite call it original – crime procedurals have been around since TV was invented. But the subject matter and methodology separate this from the flotsam and jetsam like CSI: Dumont, NCIS and Law and Order: Building Permits Bureau Enforcement. Can’t tell you how many times someone said to me “Did you see Criminal Minds last week? It gave me nightmares”. Side note after last night: It was pretty messed up that Gideon didn’t go to the funeral.
#13. DEADWOOD. Al Swearengen might have been the best anti-hero of the decade and the first two seasons were among the best of any HBO Show. But the lackluster directionless wind down of the show left a pretty sour taste. All that being said, it’s not easy to make a Western/Frontier interesting these days. As a culture we’ve kind of outgrown it. That didn’t stop Deadwood though. Probably responsible for the greatest quote of the decade: “Won’t You Let Me Go To Hell the way I want to?”
#12. CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM. There’s two questions about my likes and dislikes that I’ve heard hundreds of times. First is “How can you love Bill Clinton and hate Hillary Clinton?” The second: “How can you hate Seinfeld and love Curb Your Enthusiasm?” The answer to both is simple: Cause I do. I don’t think I laughed as hard at a television show ever as I did when LD’s obituary for Cheryl’s “Beloved Aunt” had a typo replacing the “A” with a “C”.
#11. SCRUBS. The show that just won’t die. 2 cancellations, a few extended hiatuses, and a network switch, yet it’s still kicking and is one of the longest running shows on television now. Some of the characters can be annoying at times, but the balance between severity and hilarity is perfectly stricken. With characters like Bob Kelso, Perry Cox, and of course, Jan I Tor, rarely does Scrubs swing and miss. Not since Webster were we so graciously taught a new life lesson on a weekly basis.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
My 30 Best Albums of the Decade: Number One
Well, this is it. I have to admit that I was astonished at the quality as well as the quantity of music recorded this decade. I really can't help but credit the digitilization of music, after all, all information yearns to be free and accessible, the way we acquire our music in this day and age is very conducive to establishing a very diverse and entertaining collection.
In retrospect, there may be an album or two I should have ranked a bit higher, The Rising comes to mind. But overall, I'm pleased with the way the list shakes out, even if #1 is a bit unconventional.
In retrospect, there may be an album or two I should have ranked a bit higher, The Rising comes to mind. But overall, I'm pleased with the way the list shakes out, even if #1 is a bit unconventional.
#1. American IV: The Man Comes Around - Johnny Cash
Huh? Johnny Cash? In the time of the Dave Matthews Band, The White Stripes, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Eminem, Pearl Jam, etc? Johnny Cash?
Absolutely.
If you had to decide who the Greatest American Musician was, would Johnny Cash not be in the conversation? Would he not be the favorite? Elvis Presley was an historic icon, there’s no doubting that, but he was more of a performer. As much as I love The King, he didn’t write his own music. Frank Sinatra would have been Elvis if television was as popular in the 1940s as it was in the late 50s, but as much as we love Frank, there really isn’t an argument for him to be The Best. Buddy Holly, the VASTLY underrated pioneer, just didn’t have the catalog. Other mega-stars and legends like The Doors, the Grateful Dead, Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen and Skid Row are legendary in their own right, but don’t quite have the iconic staying power as The Man In Black. There are jazz icons and country singers that have made an everlasting mark on the Great American Soundtrack, however they didn’t cross as many disciplines as those who would follow later, although many were prevented from achieving their ultimate potential thanks to societal norms.
No, I believe the discussion is boiled down to two competitors. Johnny Cash, and his friend and sometimes collaborator Bob Dylan. Personally I’d chose Dylan, but the argument can be made for Cash and even then, there’s no shame in being the runner up to Bob Dylan.
Do I think that I consider The Man Comes Around as a lifetime achievement award? Definitely – but not the way you might think. It’s not a case of “Let’s finally give Scorcese an Oscar”. It’s more along the lines of wow – what a fan-fucking-tastic treat this man bestowed upon us.
The crux of the album is Cash’s acceptance of his fate, the realization that his time on Earth is coming to a close. Instead of spending his days writing new material however (there are only 3 original Cash songs), he chose a collection of previously recorded works, some very well known and some obscure, that spoke to his bevy of emotions, his gratitude, and his regrets as the end drew near. In selecting songs that we already had familiarity with, he was able to convey these feelings in ways that new material wouldn’t have, at least not as substantially.
What separates this from being a run of the mill cover album? The depth and clarity with which he chose these songs. Limited to neither genre or period, the legendary musician spanned the globe as well as history to put together this farewell. In the process, he only happened to make the greatest music video in the history of music video’s with his cover of the Nine Inch Nails single “Hurt” – undoubtedly the most memorable of his performances on The Man Comes Around.
Beyond “Hurt”, Cash may be at his best on his home turf, country western music, in the way he tackles the traditional cowboy ballad “Streets of Laredo”. I mentioned earlier that I have a fascination with our own mortality and there’s no need to dive deeper into that, but the way that Cash slowly builds towards the end of the song, the cowboy’s acceptance that his time has come and he will not have time to right his wrongs is just gut-wrenching in its beauty. You know, if something beautiful can also be considered gut-wrenching.
Personally, his cover of the traditional Irish folk song “Danny Boy” shakes me to my core. I own multiple versions of the song, but what separates this one from the 345,376 different recordings is the raw and unrefined way in which it is being sung – and who’s singing it. The lyrics tell a simple, time honored story of a dying man bestowing his best wishes on a loved one he’s leaving behind. Often it’s sung by a healthy and strong tenor – which is fine, and often beautiful. But here we have a dying man, his deep and strapping voice fading and raspy bidding a farewell.
While the whole album is worth mentioning, especially his rendition of Simon & Garfunkel’s “Bridge Over Troubled Water” and Depeche Mode’s “Personal Jesus”, one last cover I’d like to pay homage to is the Beatles’ “In My Life”. Probably my favorite Beatles song, the Cash version is 180 degrees different and like “Danny Boy” – is a contrast to the song we’re accustomed to hearing. While the original was recorded while the legends were in their prime, and decades later remains a staple at weddings – the ultimate symbol of looking forward to the future – lyrically this song was made for a situation like the one this great icon found himself in, as if the great John Lennon and Paul McCartney wrote this 35 years early specifically for him. Like more than a few tracks on the disc, you can’t help but appreciate the unique love he had for his wife June, mourn its loss, and if your belief system allows, appreciate the fact that they are at eternal peace together.
I would be remiss to neglect at least one original Cash recording, and of the three, the title track is most likely to be have eternal staying power. While it basically plagiarizes the Book of Revelations (the man was old, cut him some slack), it tells the tale of the pending Apocalypse that may or may not happen in 2012 with great fervor, and the acknowledgement that one man will be facing his Final Judgment soon.
Three pages later and I still feel I haven’t done this album justice. I can’t think of any comparison to such a great gift being left to us by such a figure. Like #2 on this list, the album was produced by Rick Rubin and he deserves many kudos and accolades. But it’s the aura, career, emotion and ability of Johnny Cash that makes this album what it is. To me, American IV: The Man Comes Around is the #1 Album of the Decade. To you – if you’ve ever loved or lost, mourned or rejoiced – it’s worth a listen.
Johnny Cash made his mark on American cultural history over the span of half a century and in his final hour, he thanked us for allowing him to do so. Humbly, Mr. Cash, may I say that the pleasure was all ours.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
My 30 Best Albums of the Decade: #2
And then there were two. Interestingly enough, both share a common denominator. Which will be revealed tomorrow.
For a band that pretty much spans my entire music-listening life, I never really connected with the Red Hot Chili Peppers for some reason. I always enjoyed them, I owned a few of their albums and was familiar with basically of their work, but they never reached that level that other artists in my collection did throughout the last quarter century. While “Blood Sugar Sex Magik was probably one of my 10 most-played albums in high school, they still never hit the mark. I always loved a little bit of their CDs, but not really the CD as a whole.
Then came Stadium Arcadium.
It was if they took that “little bit” that I loved off each CD and rolled it into one massive double disc of near-perfection. From track 1 of disc 1 (“Dani California”) to track 14 of disc 2 (the quirky “Death of a Martian”) the band strikes gold all the way through. Really, I could go into what I love about each song but there’s twenty eight of them. Lets just say that there’s something for everyone’s taste.
Furthermore, the album tends to stand out as a whole rather than a sum of its parts. They keep their vintage sound but it’s enhanced with a more mature production and lyrics that are keenly aware of where they stand in the here and now. Probably no more than in their release and slightly overplayed “Snow”.
Now, there’ve been more than a few songs that have induced drunken sing-alongs in my life. Whether it was “American Pie” while I was 17 and drinking in the woods, or I was 19, “Me and Bobby McGhee” in a dorm room, or my early 20s (ok, and late 20s. and early 30s) and the tools of humiliation were a karaoke machine and “Friends and Low Places”, drunken singing has always been a most favored pastime of mine. Panda Guilt be damned. And yes, I’ve left a certain showtune off this mini-rundown on purpose.
But that summer of 2006 (probably the best year for music this decade by the way). I can’t ever recall a more passionate bellowing of a tune than “Snow” that year. Full details, as usual, are a little foggy. But we were in a friend’s living room and I believe it was actually the last time that the cops were called on us. (Which would make it over 3 years, which HAS to be a personal record – that, or I have deaf neighbors). It’s got a very accommodating beat, but more than that, some very resonating lyrics.
Too often critics and listeners alike are quick to proclaim an accomplished artists’ later work a “masterpiece” or “vintage”. We’ve been seeing that with Bob Dylan for the last 12 years. While I thoroughly enjoyed Modern Times and Time Out of Mind, let us not kid ourselves. As good as they are, they’re not Blood on the Tracks. They’re not Freewheelin and they sure as hell aren’t Blonde on Blonde or Highway 61 Revisited. How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb was quality U2 that shared similar traits with their early recordings. That doesn’t mean it was on par with The Joshua Tree.
Stadium Arcadium is different. Stadium Arcadium is not only “vintage” Red Hot Chili Peppers, it’s the definitive Red hot Chili Peppers. It’s the work of a band comfortable with their place in Rock History. I’d call it the culmination of a quarter century of the highs and lows that any band that’s been together that long experiences, but that would be unfair. Who knows, it may be topped. When you can cut an album this good at this stage of your career, no achievement is off the table. The only thing I’m taking off the table though, is saying that I’ve never really connected with the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
#2. Stadium Arcadium - Red Hot Chili Peppers
For a band that pretty much spans my entire music-listening life, I never really connected with the Red Hot Chili Peppers for some reason. I always enjoyed them, I owned a few of their albums and was familiar with basically of their work, but they never reached that level that other artists in my collection did throughout the last quarter century. While “Blood Sugar Sex Magik was probably one of my 10 most-played albums in high school, they still never hit the mark. I always loved a little bit of their CDs, but not really the CD as a whole.
Then came Stadium Arcadium.
It was if they took that “little bit” that I loved off each CD and rolled it into one massive double disc of near-perfection. From track 1 of disc 1 (“Dani California”) to track 14 of disc 2 (the quirky “Death of a Martian”) the band strikes gold all the way through. Really, I could go into what I love about each song but there’s twenty eight of them. Lets just say that there’s something for everyone’s taste.
Furthermore, the album tends to stand out as a whole rather than a sum of its parts. They keep their vintage sound but it’s enhanced with a more mature production and lyrics that are keenly aware of where they stand in the here and now. Probably no more than in their release and slightly overplayed “Snow”.
Now, there’ve been more than a few songs that have induced drunken sing-alongs in my life. Whether it was “American Pie” while I was 17 and drinking in the woods, or I was 19, “Me and Bobby McGhee” in a dorm room, or my early 20s (ok, and late 20s. and early 30s) and the tools of humiliation were a karaoke machine and “Friends and Low Places”, drunken singing has always been a most favored pastime of mine. Panda Guilt be damned. And yes, I’ve left a certain showtune off this mini-rundown on purpose.
But that summer of 2006 (probably the best year for music this decade by the way). I can’t ever recall a more passionate bellowing of a tune than “Snow” that year. Full details, as usual, are a little foggy. But we were in a friend’s living room and I believe it was actually the last time that the cops were called on us. (Which would make it over 3 years, which HAS to be a personal record – that, or I have deaf neighbors). It’s got a very accommodating beat, but more than that, some very resonating lyrics.
Too often critics and listeners alike are quick to proclaim an accomplished artists’ later work a “masterpiece” or “vintage”. We’ve been seeing that with Bob Dylan for the last 12 years. While I thoroughly enjoyed Modern Times and Time Out of Mind, let us not kid ourselves. As good as they are, they’re not Blood on the Tracks. They’re not Freewheelin and they sure as hell aren’t Blonde on Blonde or Highway 61 Revisited. How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb was quality U2 that shared similar traits with their early recordings. That doesn’t mean it was on par with The Joshua Tree.
Stadium Arcadium is different. Stadium Arcadium is not only “vintage” Red Hot Chili Peppers, it’s the definitive Red hot Chili Peppers. It’s the work of a band comfortable with their place in Rock History. I’d call it the culmination of a quarter century of the highs and lows that any band that’s been together that long experiences, but that would be unfair. Who knows, it may be topped. When you can cut an album this good at this stage of your career, no achievement is off the table. The only thing I’m taking off the table though, is saying that I’ve never really connected with the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Friday, November 20, 2009
My 30 Best Albums of the Decade: #3
This is it. The Top Three. I said the top 6 were thisclose, and they were. But I did not decide on what would be 2 and what would be 3 till this morning.
September Eleventh. My life changed that day. When the clock struck midnight and 9/12 was upon us, I knew my life would never be the same. I’d say there’s maybe a week or two’s worth of watershed days in my life. There I was, at one of the area’s more famous locations at the time when everything I thought I knew was exposed as myth. Continental Airlines Arena. September 11, 1999.
It was the first of many Dave Matthews Band shows for me – events that would define this decade in my life. In the irony of all ironies, this “ultimate college band” didn’t make my rotation till the months after I graduated college. But I would spend the next ten years making up for lost time, and then some, as I traveled up and down the northeastern seaboard in pursuit of the higher plane of existence that comes with the DMB Experience (and 6 hour tailgate).
Before “Big Whiskey”, the band had cut 3 studio albums this decade. All enjoyable in their own right. None came close to the genius of their late 90’s trifecta of Crash, Under the Table and Dreaming, and Before These Crowded Streets. Until Big Whiskey.
Before the album was finalized, the band lost founding member and saxophone great LeRoi Moore, and to a degree, the entire album is a tribute to him, right down to his nickname “Grux”. LeRoi alone was worth the price of admission to a DMB show, whether he was opening the concert with a solo for “One Sweet World” or keeping you going on an extended bridge for a long jam like “Crush” or “Jimi Thing”. His presence both in the studio and live on stage has been sorely missed. Owners of “Big Whiskey” are treated with a short LeRoi solo to start the album, titled simply as “Grux”.
Maybe it was the loss of LeRoi that forced the band to get back to basics. After three consecutive “over produced” albums, BW&TGGK brought it all back home to what made the band so damn good in the first place: Insightful and emotional lyrics that were neither judgmental or preachy combined with instrumentals that felt more organic than manufactured. The band knocked this one out of the park.
The Highlights:
-After “Grux” fades away on the album, the fellas get right down to business with arguably the best song on the album: “Shake Me Like a Monkey”. One of many, many Matthews tunes with not-so-subtle sexual references, this classic jam translates very well live on stage.
-It’s followed up by their first released single from the album, “Funny the Way It Is”. While the lyrics are a little, say, simple, taken as a whole the song is classic DMB. If you love DMB staples like “Crash” or “Satellite”, you could argue that this is the best song on the album.
-The much more mellow, tempered and deep “Lying in the Hands of God” comes next and honestly, my only real gripe is that it can disrupt the flow of the CD. It’s a petty hang-up and really shouldn’t be held against them cause I could never dream of putting such incredible words together like that. Those who really dive into lyrics, emotions and human imperfection may argue that this is the best song on the album.
-“Alligator Pie” is arguably the best song on the album. A tribute, albeit an odd one, to Matthews’ youngest daughter, violinist Boyd Tinsley is the star of the show here.
-What one could consider the best song on the album, “Squirm” is a throwback Matthews tune that would have fit perfectly on “Crowded Streets”. An introspective analysis of humanity, that also confirms Dave’s infatuation with the fact that we all came from apes.
-If you like the vintage Matthews track “Tripping Billies”, then you’ll absolutely love “Spaceman”. The beat is much different but the “Eat Drink and Be Merry For Tomorrow We Die” theme is stronger than ever. Bring everyone down to the lowest common denominator and you’ve got yourself and your partner in life, if you’re so fortunate. Everything else is ancillary. It just might be the best song on the album.
-All in all, what I have come to accept as the best song on the album, “Why I Am”. It’s Why I Am unlikely to agree. Yeah. That line does it for me. The song is the band’s formal tribute to LeRoi and everything he meant to them, everything he inspired in them, everything he taught them, and everything they miss about him. If it wasn’t such an incredible balls-out jam, it would choke you up, in particularly the closing line of the last verse: “When my story ends, it’s going to end with him. Heaven or Hell, I’m going there with the GrooGrux King”.
I’m not giving enough credit to “Seven”, “Time Bomb” and especially “Baby Blue” – all near-perfect in their own right, but honestly, I’m spent.
The only “miss” on the album is the closing “You and Me”. In all seriousness, this song sounds like it should be the opening theme to a 80’s family sitcom.
Bringing it all back home, I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the Dave Matthews Band for the memories they provided me with over the last ten years; the dear moments I spent with my closest friends and family, my wife, and new friends I made along the way at the many different venues and hotel rooms throughout this quadrant of the nation. From Charlottesville to Albany, from Camden to Hershey, and smack in the belly of the beast on 33rd and 7th, the band and the people I shared the experiences with kicked my ass all decade long and I’m a better person for it.
And thank you for closing out the decade with a nearly perfect work of art (and using the word “Whiskey" in the Title)
Rest in peace LeRoi.
#3. Big Whiskey & The GrooGrux King - Dave Matthews Band
It was the first of many Dave Matthews Band shows for me – events that would define this decade in my life. In the irony of all ironies, this “ultimate college band” didn’t make my rotation till the months after I graduated college. But I would spend the next ten years making up for lost time, and then some, as I traveled up and down the northeastern seaboard in pursuit of the higher plane of existence that comes with the DMB Experience (and 6 hour tailgate).
Before “Big Whiskey”, the band had cut 3 studio albums this decade. All enjoyable in their own right. None came close to the genius of their late 90’s trifecta of Crash, Under the Table and Dreaming, and Before These Crowded Streets. Until Big Whiskey.
Before the album was finalized, the band lost founding member and saxophone great LeRoi Moore, and to a degree, the entire album is a tribute to him, right down to his nickname “Grux”. LeRoi alone was worth the price of admission to a DMB show, whether he was opening the concert with a solo for “One Sweet World” or keeping you going on an extended bridge for a long jam like “Crush” or “Jimi Thing”. His presence both in the studio and live on stage has been sorely missed. Owners of “Big Whiskey” are treated with a short LeRoi solo to start the album, titled simply as “Grux”.
Maybe it was the loss of LeRoi that forced the band to get back to basics. After three consecutive “over produced” albums, BW&TGGK brought it all back home to what made the band so damn good in the first place: Insightful and emotional lyrics that were neither judgmental or preachy combined with instrumentals that felt more organic than manufactured. The band knocked this one out of the park.
The Highlights:
-After “Grux” fades away on the album, the fellas get right down to business with arguably the best song on the album: “Shake Me Like a Monkey”. One of many, many Matthews tunes with not-so-subtle sexual references, this classic jam translates very well live on stage.
-It’s followed up by their first released single from the album, “Funny the Way It Is”. While the lyrics are a little, say, simple, taken as a whole the song is classic DMB. If you love DMB staples like “Crash” or “Satellite”, you could argue that this is the best song on the album.
-The much more mellow, tempered and deep “Lying in the Hands of God” comes next and honestly, my only real gripe is that it can disrupt the flow of the CD. It’s a petty hang-up and really shouldn’t be held against them cause I could never dream of putting such incredible words together like that. Those who really dive into lyrics, emotions and human imperfection may argue that this is the best song on the album.
-“Alligator Pie” is arguably the best song on the album. A tribute, albeit an odd one, to Matthews’ youngest daughter, violinist Boyd Tinsley is the star of the show here.
-What one could consider the best song on the album, “Squirm” is a throwback Matthews tune that would have fit perfectly on “Crowded Streets”. An introspective analysis of humanity, that also confirms Dave’s infatuation with the fact that we all came from apes.
-If you like the vintage Matthews track “Tripping Billies”, then you’ll absolutely love “Spaceman”. The beat is much different but the “Eat Drink and Be Merry For Tomorrow We Die” theme is stronger than ever. Bring everyone down to the lowest common denominator and you’ve got yourself and your partner in life, if you’re so fortunate. Everything else is ancillary. It just might be the best song on the album.
-All in all, what I have come to accept as the best song on the album, “Why I Am”. It’s Why I Am unlikely to agree. Yeah. That line does it for me. The song is the band’s formal tribute to LeRoi and everything he meant to them, everything he inspired in them, everything he taught them, and everything they miss about him. If it wasn’t such an incredible balls-out jam, it would choke you up, in particularly the closing line of the last verse: “When my story ends, it’s going to end with him. Heaven or Hell, I’m going there with the GrooGrux King”.
I’m not giving enough credit to “Seven”, “Time Bomb” and especially “Baby Blue” – all near-perfect in their own right, but honestly, I’m spent.
The only “miss” on the album is the closing “You and Me”. In all seriousness, this song sounds like it should be the opening theme to a 80’s family sitcom.
Bringing it all back home, I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the Dave Matthews Band for the memories they provided me with over the last ten years; the dear moments I spent with my closest friends and family, my wife, and new friends I made along the way at the many different venues and hotel rooms throughout this quadrant of the nation. From Charlottesville to Albany, from Camden to Hershey, and smack in the belly of the beast on 33rd and 7th, the band and the people I shared the experiences with kicked my ass all decade long and I’m a better person for it.
And thank you for closing out the decade with a nearly perfect work of art (and using the word “Whiskey" in the Title)
Rest in peace LeRoi.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
My 30 Best Albums of the Decade: #4
If my dear friend and former bunkmate found it absurd that Eminem was ranked higher than Bruce, I fully expect a gasket to be blown this time...
#4. American Idiot - Green Day
Poignant. Telling. Reflective. Captivating. American.
I could probably describe American Idiot with paragraphs full of one word sentences (no, really I can’t, the above took me five minutes) because the album itself conjures up many different emotions. But what gets me the most about the album in its entirety is the picture it paints of early decade America. Post 9/11. Pre-Katrina.
I first heard the title track like many other people (or, I should say “men”) – as it was included on the soundtrack for the Madden 04 Playstation game. Really, this was a stroke of genius for bands to promote their work – the song would play as you were shuffling through the game options: franchise set-up, trading, stats, schedules, everything but the actual game itself. And because Madden was more addictive than crystal meth, you’d put in your good 5 hours a day and hence, become one with the songs without even realizing it.
After about 2 weeks of playing Madden, I was like “Hey, this is Green Day. Didn’t I used to listen to them back in 1994?” Which led to “Wait a minute? Is this song actually speaking out against the masses?”
And that it was. The long story is that Idiot in its entirety is a critique of all aspects of suburban society, from the plastic entertainment options available to the easy way out solutions of prescription drugs. And fine, I’ll take that for what it’s worth at face value. The album as a whole follows the protagonist, “Jesus of Suburbia” on a long journey of unfortunate discoveries about reality. But surprise, surprise, what really hooked me with the entire disc is how Suburban America got called out on the carpet.
I mentioned earlier how many Americans selectively forget what the nation was like in 02-03: many of those chanting “Yes We Can” last year were also referring to French Fries as “Freedom Fries”. And for crying out loud. Was there ever a more petty, nonsensical, bigger display of immaturity in history? Renaming side dishes? Really? Well open a newspaper pal: France 1 – You 0.
What killed me here was being backed into having to defend France though. France versus the Cavemen was the most difficult match to watch since the Lakers and Bulls squared off in the 1991 NBA Finals.
The high water mark of the album is probably the spoken verse in “Holiday”:
Sieg Heil to the President Gasman, Bombs away is your punishment
Pulverize the Eiffel Towers, Who criticize your government
Bang bang goes the broken glass and Kill all the f*gs that don't agree
Trials by fire setting fire, Is not a way that's meant for me
In four short sentences, they manage to summarize everything that was wrong at the time, and in some cases still is:
· The propaganda tactics that would have made Joseph Goebbels blush
· The childish demonizing of France
· The rampant homophobia that’s been a stain on our search for a More Perfect Union
· The absolute intolerance for anyone who thought “Um hey…this might not be the best idea”
The most precious American value is our natural right of Free Speech, and in a time dominated by the steamrolling of Dixie Chicks albums and the unfortunate pouring of French wine and vodka down the sewer (alcohol abuse!) it was comforting to see someone take advantage of this sacred responsibility.
Like many albums, there’s some tracks that just don’t pass the smell test. “Wake Me Up When September Ends” is one of the more annoying tunes of the decade and about as useless as tits on a bull to the flow of the rest of the album. It’s deficiency is more than compensated though, from the “Jesus of Suburbia” suite, to the deeper, anthemesque “Give Me Novacaine”, all the way through the dramatic conclusion of “Whatsername”.
The album as a whole is a masterpiece coming from a very, very unlikely source. Combined with beer, “The West Wing”, and my wife’s sanity/love,I don’t know how I’d have gotten through the 1st part of the decade without it.
Friday, November 13, 2009
My 30 Best Albums of the Decade: #5
A twinbill Friday, why the hell not?
But Eminem defied the Exposure/Talent Continuum. Before even giving the music a chance, I thought he was a spoiled, whining, no-talent homophobe who sang borderline controversial lyrics simply to get notoriety and push record sales. My opinion was one based of turdlets of info from the mainstream media. Big mistake.
After slowly warming to him earlier in the decade on a song-by-song basis, a co-worker and friend burned me a copy of The Eminem Show upon it’s release in 2002. After a few listens-through, I was in absolute awe of just about every track (save for the stupid skits, a disturbing but tolerable 21st century development). For the next year, it seemed everyone I knew had come to the same realization as I did and this album seemed to always be on the stereo (or in some cases, they were much quicker than I to realize the man’s talent).
Taken on the surface (which is pretty much all the media bothered with) yes, the lyrics and visuals on The Eminem Show could be considered offensive, childish or obscene. However, when you take into consideration that (A) it’s the 21st Century and (B) what younglings were listening to before Eminem, you start to see the layers of genius buried beneath the unpolished surface.
Consider…
“Drips” – While it features descriptions of procreation you wouldn’t even hear in a locker room, it’s much more likely to educate someone about the perils of unprotected sex than 1950s-style health class lectures or having students carry around an egg for a week. Sure, you won’t be able to eat Sour Cream Dip for a while after giving it a good listen to, but I don’t recall spam like Brittney Spears or other early-decade best sellers warning people about the perils of AIDS. For all the campaigning Bono does, I don’t remember U2 ever telling it like it is.
“White America” – the ultimate Eff You to the hypocrites and those who prefer to put certain people and arts in certain boxes and cultural boundaries. You can break the song down line by line but there’s one that resonates and says it all: “Hip-hop was never a problem in Harlem, only in Boston, After it bothered the fathers of daughters starting to blossom”
“Without Me” – a simple ode to the media, critics and detractors. You hate me but you can’t live without me. I save you the effort of having to find something else to bitch about. You should thank me.
“Cleaning Out My Closet” – the one thing I do try to avoid is the drama about the dude and his mom and ex wife, but “Closet” is a powerful, soul searching, angry recount of the family drama that’s at the genesis of not only select songs, but his overall persona. And unlike some of his other maniacal and homicidal rants, this remains above the fray. The anger is there, thankfully, but the emotion is pure.
And my personal favorite track off the album:
“Square Dance”. A lot of people have painted over their 2002 selves through some pretty rosy revisionist history. A lot of people don’t remember the post-9/11 tension in the country, between the torch burning masses demanded the blood of all people brown, and the Fifteen Percenters who either didn’t see bombing the third world to smithereens as viable justice, or, who didn’t trust the “leadership” in place at the time to effectively execute such a plan. I remember saying to my wife “Where are the Bob Dylans? The Joan Baezes? The Byrds?”
It seemed like even music was following dehr orders in lockstep, nobody would simply call it like it was. Where was the dissent? Then there was Square Dance:
Yeah the man's back, With a plan to ambush this Bush administration,.
Mush the Senate's face in and push this generation,
Of kids to stand and fight for the right to say something you might not like
Amen Slim. Amen
#5. The Eminem Show - Eminem
I don’t remember when exactly I had my first exposure to Eminem’s music, but I do know that by the time I did, I had already formed my opinion of him and it wasn’t too rosy. In terms of pop culture, there’s a general formula I often follow: The more coverage and exposure you get, the less talent you likely have. It’s almost like a bell-curve, and it was foolproof for the likes of Brittney Spears, Joe Buck, and anyone and everyone affiliated with or “competing’ on American Idol.
But Eminem defied the Exposure/Talent Continuum. Before even giving the music a chance, I thought he was a spoiled, whining, no-talent homophobe who sang borderline controversial lyrics simply to get notoriety and push record sales. My opinion was one based of turdlets of info from the mainstream media. Big mistake.
After slowly warming to him earlier in the decade on a song-by-song basis, a co-worker and friend burned me a copy of The Eminem Show upon it’s release in 2002. After a few listens-through, I was in absolute awe of just about every track (save for the stupid skits, a disturbing but tolerable 21st century development). For the next year, it seemed everyone I knew had come to the same realization as I did and this album seemed to always be on the stereo (or in some cases, they were much quicker than I to realize the man’s talent).
Taken on the surface (which is pretty much all the media bothered with) yes, the lyrics and visuals on The Eminem Show could be considered offensive, childish or obscene. However, when you take into consideration that (A) it’s the 21st Century and (B) what younglings were listening to before Eminem, you start to see the layers of genius buried beneath the unpolished surface.
Consider…
“Drips” – While it features descriptions of procreation you wouldn’t even hear in a locker room, it’s much more likely to educate someone about the perils of unprotected sex than 1950s-style health class lectures or having students carry around an egg for a week. Sure, you won’t be able to eat Sour Cream Dip for a while after giving it a good listen to, but I don’t recall spam like Brittney Spears or other early-decade best sellers warning people about the perils of AIDS. For all the campaigning Bono does, I don’t remember U2 ever telling it like it is.
“White America” – the ultimate Eff You to the hypocrites and those who prefer to put certain people and arts in certain boxes and cultural boundaries. You can break the song down line by line but there’s one that resonates and says it all: “Hip-hop was never a problem in Harlem, only in Boston, After it bothered the fathers of daughters starting to blossom”
“Without Me” – a simple ode to the media, critics and detractors. You hate me but you can’t live without me. I save you the effort of having to find something else to bitch about. You should thank me.
“Cleaning Out My Closet” – the one thing I do try to avoid is the drama about the dude and his mom and ex wife, but “Closet” is a powerful, soul searching, angry recount of the family drama that’s at the genesis of not only select songs, but his overall persona. And unlike some of his other maniacal and homicidal rants, this remains above the fray. The anger is there, thankfully, but the emotion is pure.
And my personal favorite track off the album:
“Square Dance”. A lot of people have painted over their 2002 selves through some pretty rosy revisionist history. A lot of people don’t remember the post-9/11 tension in the country, between the torch burning masses demanded the blood of all people brown, and the Fifteen Percenters who either didn’t see bombing the third world to smithereens as viable justice, or, who didn’t trust the “leadership” in place at the time to effectively execute such a plan. I remember saying to my wife “Where are the Bob Dylans? The Joan Baezes? The Byrds?”
It seemed like even music was following dehr orders in lockstep, nobody would simply call it like it was. Where was the dissent? Then there was Square Dance:
Yeah the man's back, With a plan to ambush this Bush administration,.
Mush the Senate's face in and push this generation,
Of kids to stand and fight for the right to say something you might not like
Amen Slim. Amen
My 30 Best Albums of the Decade: #6
Officially at the point where everything's a judgement call. At one point or another, I strongly considered all six of these remaining CDs to be my personal favorite of the decade. 'Twas that close.
#6. Elephant - The White Stripes
You just gotta love an album that continually kicks your ass and has you begging for more. In terms of sheer, raw, balls-out-unfiltered-kick-you-in-the-nuts from start to finish albums, I think there were only two in my life: Appetite for Destruction was one. Elephant is the other. Yeah, there’s been other albums that meet some of the criteria, but if you want to go start to finish with each track being un-skippable? This is it.
For too long, producers were getting too cute and creative, making the album about them and not the artist. Sometimes, like in the case of everything Rick Rubin seems to do, it works. Other times (cough: Glen Ballard) it comes across as disingenuous. But not with Elephant.
While “Seven Nation Army” is the most widely known track from the album – and arguably the best song of the decade, quarter century or any other marker of time you wish to choose, in my opinion the crowning achievement of the CD is “Ball and Biscuit” – a classic scotch-on-the-rocks-8-ball-corner-pocket roadhouse blues jam.
The catchy and quick “Air Near My Fingers” is one of those few songs that can get stuck in your head for days and have you not complaining about it. “There’s No Home For You Here” is just a savage asskicker.
It’s hard ranking this sixth, though I feel the same way about the pending numbers 5, 4, 3 and 2. I guess this decade’s going to be remembered for a lot of things: eight years of incompetence, The Jon and Kate saga, the Greatest Upset in Super Bowl History, the birth of Sonic in Northern New Jersey, among many others. But I’m starting to get the feeling that I’ll be looking back one day thinking how it was a renaissance of sorts of music, because despite my inherent desire to say everything new sucks, it’s simply not the case in this regard.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
My 30 Best Albums of the Decade: #7
#7. Drunken Lullabies - Flogging Molly
I've already described the gift this century that was Flogging Molly, and nothing has changed in the last six weeks on that front. They're still Irish, they still kick ass. But while Float was incredible on it's own, and even though it was more widely acclaimed by those toolbags we know as "Critics", it can't hold a (Bailey's scented) candle to Drunken Lullabies.
The title track kicks off the album itself and the rest is pretty much history. Less than a second after pressing “PLAY”, you’re treated to a heavy symphony of drums, horns, bass, bagpipes, you name it. It’s also one of those tunes that reaches you personally: “We find ourselves in the same old mess singing drunken lullabies”. That’s pretty much how my Saturday nights end. But while it sounds like a simply Irish drinking anthem, it’s anything but. It kinda asks a question that’s rarely asked about the troubles in Northern Ireland (or the Middle East, Pakistan, you name it):
What savior rests while on his cross we die
"Forgotten Freedom Burns"
Has the Shepard led his lambs astray
to the bigot and the gun?
Yep. Where’s your Messiah now? Enough of my soapbox though because the rest of the album is near-perfect. Not only do they cover what’s probably my favorite Irish standard: “The Rare Ould Times”, they don’t PC it up by avoiding some less than “acceptable” language by 21st Century standards the way I’ve heard other, lesser bands do so in recent years. Written decades ago (really, I have no idea when), the song’s as meaningful today as it was way back when. In a world of outsourcing, crumbling economies and infrastructure, nobody can really go “home” anymore. I’m a fan of progress, it does more good than harm, but sometimes, to put it bluntly, progress sucks.
The album also boasts one of the 65 or so songs that I want put on my funeral playlist: “If I Ever Leave This World Alive”. Don’t ask me why, but our own mortality fascinates me. Maybe it’s an Irish thing. Maybe it’s another unfortunate side affect of a Catholic upbringing. Maybe it’s cause I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that when you’re done, you’re done. Finito, end of story cause I’m a control freak and don’t like not understanding things, so this explanation makes the most sense. Yet given that belief structure, I’m captivated by this pledge of post-mortem love and support from man to woman. What can I say; sometimes I’m a walking dichotomy.
Possibly my favorite song on the album is the rebellious anthem “What’s Left of the Flag”. I’m a sucker for songs about rebellion, in particular Irish ones. “Flag” has it all: the heavy instruments, the inspiring battle cries, and blatant insults hurled at the enemy. Side note: I’m not into “rebellion” hymns of the Confederacy though. Not in the least. It really chaps my ass that 150 years later I’ll occasionally hear “Dixie”, or that “The Night They Drove Ol’ Dixie Down” paints Sherman’s march as a borderline War Crime. Dude, you rebelled based of the principles of denying human rights (save me the “it’s not all about slavery” bullshit, I’ve heard it and you’re just whitewashing things. And Jim Crow ended any shadow of a doubt about that. Plus, we won.)
I could go on and on about each track but it’s all going to come back to the same underlying point: this album will kick your ass while making you think at the same time. And really, I can’t say that about anything else without copping to the use of illicit substances.
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