Decision 2010: The Running Diary of a Liberal with the Flu

I love Election Night. Some more than others. This year, I've been home all day - possibly with the flu - dozing in and out of cable news coverage. With a stomach full of chicken soup (for the Democrats, who didn't have the testicular fortitude to run on their own accomplishments) and a head full of mucus (for the Republicans, cause, well, fuck them), I'm hopped up and ready to go. Let the games begin....

6:20 - This tweet from @HotlineJosh: Exit polls show Rubio +21 in #FLSEN pretty much sums up what type of night it's going to be. I know Rubio's going to take this down, the lovely Tea Party anti-immigrant Cuban that he is, but +21 is a bad, bad sign. 

6:22 - Memo to Lester Holt: Lisa Loeb would like her glasses back

6:40 - Chris Von Hollen (D-Ma) with his best "Baghdad Bob" impersonation by basically saying the pundits are wrong and there is no GOP Wave. Meanwhile, Mike Pence (R-IN), who's race has already been called is claiming that the people will be rewarded for their vote by having their favorite corporations and billionaires have their taxes cut. Maybe it will help the Texas Rangers keep Cliff Lee?  

6:48 - I'm very disappointed. I spent 5 minutes looking for FOX News on my television, and when I finally find it, it's a clip of Obama speaking with a massive "UNIVISION" logo emphasizing that this President speaks to Latinos. I was seriously expecting to see Britt Hume doing lines off of Ann Coulter's ass and Sean Hannity pouring champagne over a Ronald Reagan Collector's Plate. For what it's worth: Nobody on their "B" team expects Obama to be be as graceful and dignified as Bush was in 2006.  

6:54 - YES! The Bush Memoir leaks have begun!!!!! This suddenly brought me joy: "President George W. Bush considered dumping Vice President Dick Cheney from his 2004 reelection ticket to dispel the myths about Mr. Cheney’s power in the White House and “demonstrate that I was in charge,” the former president says in a new memoir." Now that's the petulant, spoiled little bitch I remember!

7:00 - OUR FIRST RESULTS. Rand Paul in Kentucky. Important to know this seat is not switching parties. Well, unless you wanna claim it's the crusty old angry party of Jim Bunning to the young, enthusiastic, stupid and racist party of Rand Paul. I'm actually looking forward to his career. Dan Coats in Indiana, that's technically a switch with Evan Bayh (D) retiring. Well, it's a switch if you ever really believed Bayh when he said he was a Democrat. Jim DeMint in South Carolina, easily reelected. His growing more entertainingly dangerous by the hour. Patrick Leahy in Vermont, old reliable. Even if he looks like a shady secret society master of the universe. Georgia, between Incumbent Republican Johnny Isakson and a black guy even I've never heard of is "too early to call". 
The Republicans, who need to pick up 10 seats, have picked up 1. 

7:08 Rachel Maddow just threw Evan Bayh under the bus. Love it. "The Democrats will miss Evan Bayh's senate seat. They won't miss Evan Bayh". Meanwhile, Howard Fineman's basically reporting Rand Paul spent lots of time in Mitch McConnell's bicycle shop.  

7:13 Seeing all these fancy high-tech polling/counting graphics and gimmicks makes me long for Tim Russert and his erasable white board. Then again, everything makes me miss Tim Russert.  

7:19 45% of Indiana voters support the Tea Party. I move that if any state breaks 50% on that issue, they have to secede. In other news, WHDH is reporting that Barney Frank's camp is "worried". That'd be a major score for the GOP along with MSNBC, cause you know that 11PM timeslot is being held for "Let's Be Frank". 

7:44 Rob Portman, former Bush budget guy wins Ohio's Senate seat. Bush's budget guy. Kinda like being Ghandi's chef, no?  

7:50 Comment of the evening courtesty of Paul Begala: We have a black president. May now get an "Orange Speaker."

7:55 MSNBC, you do yourself no favors by continuing to air those 9/11 Truther commercials for Building 7. Even if I agree.  

8:03 POLL CLOSINGS. Ding Dong the Witch is Dead. Christine O'Donnell, you can go away now. Or, make a reality show about Alaska. It's up to you. Joe Biden's seat is safe. West Virginia is "Too Early To Call" with Joe Manchin in the lead. Pennsylvania is too close to call. And in other news, while recapping my day, my wife informed me that I've taken an unhealthy amount of Mucinex today. And Rachel Maddow is still railing against Evan Bayh. I'm beginning to think there's something more to this. If Rachel wasn't out of the closet and Bayh wasn't an android, I'd assume there was a tryst at one point in their lives that didn't end well.  

8:10 O'Donnell strikes again. Democrats took the lone Delaware House Seat. Incumbent Mike Castle left to run for senate, Sarah and her minions blessed the witch, the rest of the state told her to get the F out, and Castle's seat rode the mini wave. Lovely. Sarah Palin cost the GOP Delaware's Senate and House seat. Keep that in mind.  

8:22 More exit poll data. In 1994 and 2010, 56% of people thought the government was doing too much. In 2008, 52% didn't. OK, all you assholes in that 4%: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM YOUR FUCKING GOVERNMENT? Please stop hijacking our electorate and giving life to people like Sharon Angle and Rand Paul.  

8:25 First African-American Republican elected to next Congress -- AP calls #SC01 for Tim Scott (R).  So, um, does Tim have any nieces or nephews?

8:28 Linda McMahon's down for the count. It's refreshing that in this climate, and with the Democrats running a useless, sneaky, fourth rate candidate in Dick Blumenthal, the voters still can't bring themselves to vote for the woman who may or may not be responsible for the death of Ravishing Rick Rude.  

8:35 West Virginia goes to Manchin. By may calculations, the GOP's got to win basically everything else to take the Senate. In sadder news though, Alan Grayson's going home. That dude told it like it was. Could have used more of him.  

8:50 You know who's useless? Michael Steele.  

8:54 Chris Matthews is schooling Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) on what exactly these phantom spending cuts will be. Per this twit: Not social security, not defense, not medicare, not medicaid, extend the Bush tax cuts. I'm actually getting pretty excited about this pending Republican House. My prediction: No Cuts, Lots of Gay Bashing.  

9:00 And we have an Orange Speaker. Another First.